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Question 4: If you discover your partner's cheating, how do you react?> Return to Participants List
 John: I would want to know more, but I don't think I could see past it. Basically, we would have to start a whole new relationship all over again. I don't think there is any circumstance where it would be forgivable. |
 Martin: I definitely don't think it has to be the end of the relationship. It's the worst challenge you can face, but people get over it all the time. If I met the love of my life now, and we were together for five years, and she went on vacation and cheated, I wouldn't categorically say that it was over. I'm completely against open relationships, but I think, pragmatically, that infidelity doesn't have to be the end. |
 Emma: I'd like to think that if it happened today, I would end the relationship. But that's not how it's been in the past. I've wanted to know absolutely every detail about it — when it happened, who it was with, how many times. It destroyed the level of trust in the relationship. Now that I have hindsight, I think it just doesn't work. You destroy something so fundamental. It's impossible to look past that. |
 Julia: I guess I'd just get mad, then think about whether I wanted to continue my relationship with that person. If I feel it's something that can be worked out, then yeah, I work it out. But the details aren't really that important. Like how much, and when, or whatever. If they want to be with somebody else, that's their choice, and that's actually fine. If that's something they want, I'm not going to stop them from doing that. Then that means maybe we're not right together. I don't make rules for anybody I'm with. |
 Sandy: I'm a super-jealous person, and it's just such an utter breach of trust. It might be irrevocable. Having sex with another person would be a dealbreaker for me. Making out, I think I might be able to work around that, but having sex with someone, you don't like, "oops," have sex with someone. You maybe "oops" kiss someone. But your clothes didn't just disintegrate; they're not made out of rice paper.
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 Chad: You talk about it. It really jeopardizes the relationship.Trust obviously becomes more fragile. I don't think it's irreparable, but it has great potential to change the dynamic of a relationship. |
 Dupé: I'll hear him out, and that's it. Just, "bye bye," no fuss, no nothing. "You did this, you did that? Bye bye." I'm very harsh like that. I'll never speak to them again. There's just nothing you can say to me, because I don't really care how hot it was, I don't care how drunk you were, if it was God who came down from wherever as a woman, anything . . . I just don't care, I don't want to hear it. The fact that you cheated, then you betrayed my trust, that's it. |
 Carm: I would break up with her. Well, I would talk about it. But ask me again when I'm in a really serious relationship. Maybe then I'll be more willing to forgive. But right now, I think it would be hard to hang out with her after that. |
 Nadia: When you're in a serious relationship, you don't just drop it like that and walk away pissed and hurt. You talk it out, you find out what happened, why it happened, and then you make them work their ass off for a long time to prove to you that it will never, ever, ever happen again. |
 Mark: I would most likely break up with them. It would make a difference who they cheated on me with and how many times. The cheating would be a sign to me that they either don't want to be with me or that the relationship can't be fixed. It takes a serious breakdown in communication to get to the point where someone cheats. |
Question 1: In a relationship, what do you consider cheating?
Question 2: What's your experience with open relationships?
Question 3: When you're lusting after other people, do you tell your partner?
Question 4: If you discover your partner's cheating, how do you react?
Question 5: If you discover a friend has cheated on his or her partner, does that change your opinion of your friend?
Question 6: What do you think of the prospect of only having sex with one person for the rest of your life?
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