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Question 6: Could you have sex with only one person for the rest of your life?> Return to Participants List
 John: That's totally awesome. When I talk to somebody who's going to get married, and they're like, "the only thing I'm afraid of is the idea that I'm only going to have sex with one person for the rest of my life," that bothers me. It's like, who the hell are you? Are you Don Juan? Are you going to be able to have sex with any woman you want? No. You should be lucky this girl loves you so much. |
 David: I don't know. Sex is really important, but I get so much more from my relationship. If you could see a pie chart of my relationship, I feel like a really nice, healthy slice of it is sex, but there are so many other good chunks that I'm not willing, at least in this point in my relationship, to get from other sources. There's comfort and laughter and, you know, motivation to make each other better. |
 Martin: I have a hard time imagining it, but it's something to aspire to. I can only speak for myself, but I would feel like a complete failure if I didn't stay with the mother of my children for the rest of my life. That is my biggest goal in life. I know what it's like to grow up without a father, and I want to be a better person than that. There are probably people who have great open relationships, and people who never have a real relationship, but I have a pretty conservative idea of wanting a nuclear family. |
 Emma: Monogamy can work. I think that's what you should do. If you're not prepared to be monogamous with your spouse, you shouldn't get married. To me the fundamental meaning of marriage is that level of commitment to somebody you love. |
 Julia: No, I don't aspire to it. If that ends up happening, I'm sure it would be okay. But it's not super-realistic. You're constantly evolving as a human; at each different stage of being, you pair yourself with people who balance you at that point. And when you move, or evolve, you look for different people to balance you. |
 Sandy: At this point, I can't imagine that. Maybe I haven't found the person I want to do that with. In my experience, I've noticed that after a while the sex doesn't get hotter, it gets less hot. I'd like to find someone it could just get better and better with. I could definitely spend the rest of my life loving and sharing my life with one person. But the sex stuff — I think I'd want to keep exploring.
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 Chad: I'm hoping for that. It's a little scary, but I hope to fall in love with somebody where that's the situation, where I only want to have sex with that person, for the rest of my life. I don't know if that's realistic, but that is my fairy-tale view of it. |
 Dupé: That's what I always thought would happen when I was younger, that I'd meet one person who I'd be with forever, so it never scared me. It still doesn't scare me. I'm thirty-six anyway, so how much longer do I have? Right now, where I am, I'd like to just meet one person and that would be it, forever. I'm done. It would make life a whole lot easier, I think. |
 Carm: It sounds really dark. It's definitely a scary thing. Intimidating, I guess. |
 James: My parents are still together, and they seem happy. I don't know, I guess it sounds bad to only be with one person, but most people are more turned off by an older man or an older woman who's divorced a thousand times than a guy who's still with the same woman after a long time. |
 Nadia: There's a difference between having sex with one person for the rest of your life and having sex with the person for the rest of your life. |
 Mark: As long as my partner is willing to try new things and has a good imagination, I'd be fine with that. |
And, in conclusion, Martin:
I have a friend who's been with the same girlfriend for a long time. She's not that into sex. He's tried everything. It's become a vicious cycle — he's angry and bitter because she doesn't want to have sex, so he treats her badly, and that makes her even less inclined to sleep with him. Six months ago, he cheated on her. And he says it was a good thing, because he rid himself of a lot of sexual frustration by cheating just that one time. I think it seems a bit fucked up, but it seems to work for him. Since the affair, he's been much nicer to her and has felt much more generous, which made her like him better and want to have more sex. I think for this guy, he really became a better person by cheating. They're both happier now. |
Question 1: In a relationship, what do you consider cheating?
Question 2: What's your experience with open relationships?
Question 3: When you lust after other people, do you tell your partner?
Question 4: If you discover your partner's cheating, how do you react?
Question 5: If you discover a friend cheated on his or her partner, does that change your opinion of your friend?
Question 6: Could you have sex with one person for the rest of your life?
> Return to Participants List
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