What do you do for a living?
I'm a student and a retail worker. I'm studying early-childhood education. I understand kids, I think, more than I understand adults sometimes.
Very cool. What have you learned about dating from working with little children?
Yo, honestly, a lot of the same stuff I learned in a sexuality class correlated with children and how they learn. The first few years are very important for how they turn out to be, sexually — like what their preferences will be. It's very interesting.
Wow. Can you give me an example?
Well, for one, what kids play with and what they see can have a big effect on what they'll like as they mature. Especially what they see, like, their moms — if they're affectionate with their fathers — if the parents are affectionate, that plays a part in what the children will consider to be a turn-on later in life.
So if you see your parents, like, being cute and cuddly together —
They would want that in their lives. Or, it could be the opposite, like they don't see someone give affection, but that's what they consider to be affection. So they can interpret not giving affection as a sign of affection.
So when I get married, I'm gonna make out with my husband all the time.
Yeah, it's very important. Kids notice these things and I don't think adults realize how much they take in.
So what's dating like in your major?
I don't date anybody in my school. They're all big boys. I can't play with boys.
What kind of guy do you like?
Tall and funny. As long as you're funny, you have my heart. I'm very open-minded, so you definitely have to be open-minded, somewhat smart. You know, hold a conversation and I'll be fine with that. So as long as you're funny and you have a good head on your shoulders and you're focused. And you're tall. I really have a thing for tall. I know this sounds really shallow but I'm five-eight. So as long as you're taller than five-eight, I'm good.
Do you have any favorite hook-up stories?
I actually hooked up with a friend of mine in an ice-cream parlor. In the bathroom. He worked there and I would come over after closing, bring a few of my friends, and we'd just chill or eat ice cream and drink. As long as we cleaned up, the manager was pretty much okay with it.
What do you do for a living?
Right now I go to school. I'm studying the entertainment business.
Cool. Does that get you dates?
Not yet.
Do you have any crazy ex-girlfriends?
Of course. The crazy where they stalk you for awhile. Keep calling, calling, calling you. Want to have your babies.
Did a girl actually say that to you?
Yeah, numerous times. Like, "I want to have your kids." But we happened to not live in the same state, so it worked out. She was in Jersey and I was here, so I just stayed away.
Jersey isn't that far from Manhattan. She could get over here.
She could definitely get over here, but I would just hide and look around corners, make sure she wasn't around.
Do you have any favorite hook-up stories?
There's just always some crazy story in some crazy bathroom. It's always in the bathroom, like, "Yo, I can't believe that shit just happened in the bathroom." But I remember this one time, we were all going to this party at this college upstate. We came in two different cars and it was raining really, really hard. Everyone got out of the cars but they decided to stay outside for some reason. It was raining so hard you couldn't see inside the car. I was still in the car with this girl and she was like, "We should have sex, right now." I was like, "First of all, this isn't our car. Second of all, they just got this car last week. It's new." And she was like, "So what? You're being such a little bitch, you're always complaining." So we just had crazy, crazy sex while everyone, including the person who owned the car, was right outside. And they couldn't tell, cause they couldn't see.
How close outside were they?
They were leaning on the next car. There was an awning kind of thing, so everyone was like right there. They were all facing us.
They totally saw you.
Nah, they definitely didn't see me. No one saw cause no one ever talked about it.
So does bartending get you dates?
Yes and no. I try not to date customers or co-workers. Dudes come in and they all hit on the bartender, you know, they all want to get the bartender's number. So I guess technically, if I wanted to pursue it, I could. But I haven't. Well, that's a lie. I'm actually dating my manager from four years ago. But we don't work together anymore.
Do you have any favorite hook-up stories?
I do have one. It was a friend of mine, we'd been friends since high school when he used to date my best friend. Years went by, long story short, we got really drunk and ended up fooling around in the bathroom, to the point where we broke the toilet. We smashed the toilet into about 50,000 pieces.
Wait a minute: how?
We were on top of the toilet, doing our thing, and the fucking toilet literally exploded. I have the pictures on my Facebook. Nobody knows why. Literally, the fucking thing just crashed. It leaked blue shit all down the stairs to my roommate's room. The next day I had to go to Home Depot and buy a toilet. Thank God my other friend is a plumber. It was hysterical. He and I are still friends. It was a stupid, drunken thing.
I feel like it would be hard to break a toilet if you were sober.
Exactly. But it was completely normal at the time. The funny part is, because we were all shit-bombed, we woke up the next morning and I go down stairs to use the bathroom and I was like, "Oh my God!" We all just started dying. Everybody woke up and we went into the bathroom and there was fucking water all over the place. It had leaked downstairs into the basement. It was terrible.
Do you have a weakness with guys?
Bad boys, man. Assholes. The assholes that are mean to me, I can't get enough of it.
Yeah, that's normal. Who's the biggest jerk you dated?
I dated this guy on and off for two years. He was supposed to come out for my birthday, but he said he had promised to go to a car show with a friend of ours. A week later a friend of mine called and said, "Just so you know, he's been dating this other girl." So she called me and was like, "You've been dating him for how long? I've been with him for the past three months." I told him we'd been on and off for two years, and she was like, "Come pick me up right now." We ended up driving to his house and she beat the shit out of him. She went fucking crazy on this kid, ripping his hair and clawing his face. I was so mad I couldn't say anything. I was just standing there watching the whole thing like, "Motherfucker, on my birthday." Then I just went like this, BAM, and knocked him out cold and left. So that was probably the biggest asshole-thing that has ever happened.
Oh my god, I can't believe when guys think they are going to get away with that. Girls fucking talk about everything.
And I'm the kind of girl who's like, you never blame the girl. You always blame the guy.
  
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PO commented on 01/21MIKE... "premature ejaculation is amazing right now"? What does that even mean? Nice hat though. And ASHLEY... HA HA! That'll teach you about swallowing! "Ew, semen is gross, rilly grROWss, like it makes me throw UP." Grow up. Get a life. You don't deserve an orgasm. JASON is right about LA girls. All the cute ones are here to trade on their looks, it's depressing.
jr commented on 01/21Ashley needs to learn how to swallow. That shot in the eye is definitely justice.
nn commented on 01/21Why do guys commenting on Hooksexup suck so much? (yeah, that could be a pun too). Also, why don't you think Erica could have knocked a guy out? I know some fucking strong women.
nn commented on 01/21I'm assuming you love the delicious taste of semen, PO?
@nn commented on 01/21LIKE JWOWW ON JERSERY SHORE?!
GT commented on 01/21I admire anyone who can break a toilet using only their writhing body.
sc commented on 01/21There's nothing wrong with not swallowing, intercourse is better than any blowjob I've ever had anyway. Regardless, it's clear that the article on egomaniacs was written with the medium-hot guy in mind.
grrr commented on 01/21Am I the only one who doesn't hook up in the bathroom?
FRI commented on 01/21Love the bathroom theme! I was going to say I've never hooked up in a bathroom...but now that I think about it, it's not true. Never in a PUBLIC restroom, however much I would have liked to get busy in a Burger King bathroom.
vld commented on 01/21PO telling Ashley "get a life" for not swallowing... It shows how big PO's life is and how much PO loves to swallow. Erica "can't get enough of assholes that are mean to her" but "knocked out cold" (which is questionable) the biggest asshole she met... She doesn't even hooks up with customers. Why? because they are mean assholes??
db commented on 01/21If Erica is a bartender, she can knock a guy out. The bartenders I work with can all move kegs and the girls are just as quick as the guys. You spend your nights using your arms all the time. Not huge muscles, but strong.
S.F. commented on 01/22Last time I checked it wasn't OK (or legal) to beat the shit out of someone for infidelity. I think it kinda sucks that Hooksexup is tacitly saying that Erica's story is cool and funny and relatable. I don't think they'd post her interview if she was a guy named Eric who'd knocked his girl around for stepping out on him.
@S.F commented on 01/22On one level I agree with you. But then, when you compare a guy cheating on his girlfriend to a girl leaving her boyfriend, you reveal your own sexism.
@@SF commented on 01/22'Stepping out" means cheatin, not leaving. S.F.'s point stands.
h commented on 01/22Jason's just bitter because he's not attractive enough to date in LA.
rem commented on 01/22I'm gonna add a girl vote to the swallowing - always do, no clean up, and apparently saves a lot of problems. It's no Ben and Jerry's but hey, it's better than cum in the eye.
sm commented on 01/22There are only two flavors of cum- ehhh, not so bad and blah
OMG commented on 01/22Lots of bathroom hookups lol. also i hate ashleys.
LA commented on 01/23Dated a girl once that didn't take shots in the mouth, kind of ruined the whole bj thing...and she didn't last long as a gf. LA girls or hot and amazing. Yes, there are chicks (and guys) who run around promoting themselves at every turn, but if that's all you meet then you're going out to the wrong places. There are beautiful, intelligent, and talented artists here (yes acting, writing, directing, etc are all art forms). Bathroom sex always leads to great stories, loved that theme here. Mike, I don't care how creative/artistic/eccentric you are, that hat should never be worn in public.
JGG commented on 01/23the craziest place i've probably had sex is behind a library...lol. so lame, but it was summer and the grass was warm so it just happened. and it wasn't really a hookup, sorta, since im still with the same boy, haha.
PO commented on 01/23To the girls who negatively commented on the swallowing issue: how long you been single? And, yes, maybe Erica could have knocked a guy out if she used her gums.
LA commented on 01/23yeah LA women suck, because there are absolutely no profession women here at all .. zero .. yeah right. Hang out in Hollywood and guess what? You get Hollywood people. There are many professional women here ... and they are hotter and in better shape, because they actually work out and eat healthy, than women in most parts of the country, including New York. Now I dont blame Jason for loving NYC women ... I love them too, but Id take a hot LA woman over a hot NYC woman any day ... why? Because the beauty of LA women LASTS!!!
cjm commented on 01/24thoughts: 1. Is everyone's occupation "very cool"? 2. How full of shit is Mike? 3. Never force yourself to something sexually that you don't want to. It comes back to haunt you. Hard.
SC commented on 01/26Jason obviously doesn't know L.A.- it extends outside of hollywood buddy. That's where you'll find beautiful professional women.
R.M. commented on 02/04Oh Jason... so unfortunate.
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