• Scanner starts our day with a bang by reporting on Norman Mailer’s posthumous victory in the challenge for the Bad Sex in Literature Award. It was this literary luminary who once described the flaccid man-sword (is that any better?) as a “coil of excrement.” The day only got better from there: we learned that cheap garments being provided to our armed forces were suffering from “crotch durability problems,” and that dolphins now come in hot pink. (Think of all the enviro-lover T-shirt possibilities!) Christina Aguilera left us somewhat disturbed by her nude appearance on the cover of Marie Claire, but what disturbed us the most was the possibility that our hair bands may have been made from used condoms. Is it tomorrow yet?
• Screengrab escapes into the sweet safety of the past, fondly reminiscing about the many faces of character actor Wallace Shawn. The Village Voice speculates about I’m Not There’s place in the Bob Dylan revival and Julian Schnabel makes a “comeback.” Also: Puppets have a sing-along.
• Finally, the Hooksexup Video Blog ensures that we’ll all suffer nightmares tonight by bringing us the absurd lunacy of talking yellow telephones delivering empty promises. (Don’t ask me; just check it out.)
— Steph Auteri