Even though Scanner Bryan managed to come back from Mardi Gras with an alarming lack of boob shots, Scanner managed to keep it real in the realms of anatomy and aesthetics: We’ve got an awkward phone encounter with some crazy mess who intentionally drank colloidal silver for ten years and turned blue [insert reference to frustrated testicles here]; complementary guys who spray-tan themselves orange, the gallery edition!; LED pasties; the Joy of Sex redux; Scanner Bryan learns about anatomy…down there; and another reason not to f*ck your cousin.
The Screengrab has been abuzz with losses, lists, and conspiracies. Behold: bidding a fond farewell to Roy Schneider, star of Jaws; trying their damnedest not to forget about John Hughes; and entertaining a new and slightly terrifying theory (Diablo Cody: possibly not a real person? Discuss.). Also, Screengrab takes on the Kingdom of Belgium, as Take Five sets out to prove that “there's a lot more to Belgian filmmaking than just Jean-Claude Van Damme.” Point taken.
And oh, Hooksexup Video. Feel like you’re pretty comfortable talking about your naughty bits? Well, you’ve got nothing on Alexyss Tylor, host of public access’ “Vagina Power” and harbinger of the most uncomfortably aggressive sex and hygiene advice this side of… anywhere. To wit: “We ain’t gettin’ no magic sticks, we gettin’ garbage dicks.” Indeed. Also: Oliver Miller brings us Monday afternoon roundups featuring the Jabberwocky and Mr. Show, open letters to shady politicians, and a rundown of films of the so-bad-they’re-good variety.
And finally: A brand spankin’ new Hooksexup Blog! The Modern Materialist is here to give you the skinny on all things “whimsical, practical, fashionable, and just really weird” – take, for example, the pistol blowdryer, this week in sweet sales & savings, and a fold-up scooter that lacks any hint of douchebaggery. Ch-ch-check it!
— Caitlin M.