I've been sitting here for the last hour or so staring at Willie Nelson flipping me the bird on my desktop, eating chocolate truffles and wondering if I should run to the store and buy myself a big beer since I'm not really in the mood to write, then decided to stop eating the chocolate, say no the beer and read through some of the latest confessions. Man, you guys are intense with those confessions.
Some of them are really desperate pleas of "I need to get out of this relationship but I don't want to be alone, so I'd rather stay in this bad reltionship." Here are a few recent examples:
"I don't understand why I was so into you. Yeah, you're hot - but you don't satisfy me in any why other than sex and aesthetics. We don't talk about anything meaningful, I hate your friends, you are not smart, and I can't walk around campus without seeing somebody who's had u too. Basically, you are a slut."
"I don't love you anymore. Hell, I don't even LIKE you. I hate so many things about you. I don't understand why I can't bring myself to break up with you."
"I can't believe I ever used to love you. From the place I'm at right now, love is a distant memory. What did I even see in you that was so special it became the focus of my world? As I look back, I am both excited to meet the man of my dreams sometime in the future, but also I am questioning: is love not just a little overrated?"
I find those really depressing to read. What is so hard about being honest and upfront with the person you're with and saying straight out that you aren't into them anymore, or that you're not happy in the relationship? I know, from being on both ends of the relationship stick, that being told from the person you love that he/she doesn't feel the same about you hurts like hell, but it also hurts to be in a relationship you know is stagnant and has no hope of ever really getting anywhere or improving. Staying in a stagnant relationship is way more dangerous and hurtful than saying, "Screw this! I will be alone and, if it is meant to happen, I will meet someone who will love me and appreciate me for all the right reasons."
Then there's this gem, which makes me feel bad about my own insecurities.
"Stop accusing me of cheating on you. Or implying it. Or even thinking about it. It annoys to me to no end that you give me a look every time my phone rings and then start in with the "Can I ask you something" bs. It just makes me actually want to cheat on you. I haven't but I've gotten offers. Maybe I should take somebody up on that. I hate that you don't trust me and I've never done anything to lose your trust."
I wish I could tell this person who sent in the confession that it isn't that easy. That sometimes the person we're with has been through shit that lingers longer than it should. It sure as hell isn't a fun way to be in a relationship, or life, for that matter. It sucks not being able to trust the person you love or not being trusted by the person you love. I'll definitely take notes if anyone has advice.
Any my personal favorite:
"Oh, you bloody motherfucking asshole"
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