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Date Machine: Rate My Pick-Up Lines

Posted by amboabe

Saying you like music is like saying you like food. It's something that we all need. It's something that serves a primal need, underneath all the cellophane packaging, to express all those things we don't have words for otherwise. I used to think that I was going to be a composer when I was younger. I got rejected at the only college I wanted to go to (twice) because I insisted on applying as a music major. During my second audition, the proctor cut me off after three minutes. "Thank you, that's enough," he said. I'm a better fan of music than I am a musician. Yet, music hasn't really been a big part of my dating life. Thinking back on it this afternoon, I was a saddened to realize that I've only been to one concert on a date.

 



Since all the shows I've been to lately wind up on YouTube an hour after they've finished I thought I might be able to find a clip from that night (Gerogie James playing an acoustic set at Café du Nord, the night I asked my date to formally be my girlfriend). That night has, apparently, been wiped from the annals of the internet and only a lousy seventeen second clip of it remains. This might have been an omen as the band broke up a few months later.

Then I stumbled on a video that I used to send out to women I was emailing over Hooksexup earlier this year. I don't much like sending out winks and am not a fan of reading other people's profiles (always artfully incomplete) so I would fire off a short missive about being attracted to the person and give them a link to the "Peacebone" video by Animal Collective. It was a calculated gamble that they wouldn't find the part where the phallic alien baby shoots out of the woman's mouth too presumptive.



I sent out about ten emails like that. Not a single one got a response. It was right after Strawberry Jam had come out and I was listening to the album every morning on the walk from the bus stop into the office. Scooting across the freeway off-ramp kitty corner from my office building, under the milky winter sun in San Francisco this song would be a happy little bright spot in my day. I thought that would be worth sharing.

It's probably a bad tactic for hitting on people. Honesty without context is an invitation for all of the worst assumptions. I can only imagine what all those women must have thought, watching a video of a slimy monster and a zombie woman fawning over each other, and trying to connect it with someone who isn't a freak in some way or another. I wonder if my percentage would have gone up if I had linked to The Proclaimers instead.
 

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Comments

vix_en25 said:

that video is creepy. i wouldnt respond to you either if you sent it. good song though.

October 28, 2008 11:55 AM

Toluca_86 said:

I do like the Proclaimers.  But I think when you do manage to find someone who's a freak in the same ways you are, the bond is stronger than with someone you share more normal interests with...  I just think it might help to get to know someone a little first, before letting it all hang out, so to speak.

October 28, 2008 12:10 PM

dlgallian said:

I think the fundamental flaw of a pick-up attempt like that is that it only has to do with YOU.  Picking someone up is all about flattering THEM, showing them that you think THEY are special, not "oh look how special I am."  Your move probably came off as too self-centered, too "look how cool and deep I am, I use someone else's art to express myself."

P.S.  Read the goddamn profile.  You're such a misanthrope.

October 28, 2008 1:20 PM

amboabe said:

dlgallian: I know flattery of other people is the recommended route in flirting, but I'd rather just have fun with someone than feel like I've got to play up to them. So I thought it would be sporting to instead share something that was currently amusing me. Musical taste is almost entirely irrelevant to personal affinity with people, so I wasn't really trying to communicate something deep and meaningful about myself, just passing along something that was making me happy and that, hopefully, would function the same way for the other person. You know, like flowers.

October 28, 2008 3:17 PM

anathema_teatime said:

There's that Leonard Cohen line, from the grossly overplayed but still well-written "Hallelujah," . . . "but you don't really care for music, do ya?" I said, casually, to my husband (a musician), "That's such an odd concept. I mean, how could someone not care for music at all, as opposed to for some genre of music?" He swears he's met 'em.

October 28, 2008 3:24 PM

Thea said:

I have always found it creepy when men give me a mixtape, especially really early on. What am I supposed to do with it? If I don't like it I can't help thinking they're idiots, and hopelessly deluded ones for getting my tastes wrong. Am I supposed to give a critique? share my associations with the songs? I'm not surprised this friendly little overture of yours went flat.

How about you up the ante by recording an original song based on something you project onto the next woman you're idly curious about? And then put in on myspace. This didn't work either but when I was sad it would always cheer me up to play the song and laugh at it.

October 28, 2008 4:45 PM

Toluca_86 said:

aww... I think once you know someone a little, mixtapes are great.  It's a good way to learn about new music -whether or not you like every single song on the mix isn't the point.

October 28, 2008 6:28 PM

amboabe said:

Marge Simpson said "Music is none of my business."

October 28, 2008 8:09 PM

Thea said:

Right. Actually mixtapes are adorable... just not 5 cd's all wrapped up in my mailbox the day after someone gave me a ride home. The other creep factor I forgot to mention about these premature mixes is they were all ambient music. Not all from the same person either.

October 28, 2008 10:54 PM

Toluca_86 said:

yeah that's kinda creepy

October 28, 2008 11:48 PM

amboabe said:

I make a fair amount of mix tapes for friends, but I've only made one mix tape for a woman I liked (the cheerleader from one of my earlier posts). In the end I think I liked listening to it more than she did, but it's always that way with mix tapes, you're just playing your own songs to tug at your own heart strings.

October 29, 2008 12:31 AM

vix_en25 said:

a friend of mine made me a mix cd that ONLY had songs he knew I liked. now thats love. A boyfriend made me 7 mix cd's and I have only listened to them once after we broke up and never since

October 29, 2008 8:59 AM

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