A while back, vix_en posted a link to a zombie dating page, hosted by mingle2 which looked pretty funny. I'd hit a dry patch (which has since passed) with Hooksexup and decided to post my profile there and see what happened. As spjv mentioned, Hooksexup is chock full of beautiful people, but sometimes these hipsters just don't cut it for me.
So, I posted my profile, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.
Within minutes, instant messages popped up closely followed by a bunch of email. Woohoooo thinks me. Alas, my excitement was misplaced. Below is an example of the emails sent to me. Don't worry, most of them are extremely succinct. Apparently the men over there can't string more than a couple sentences together, but are just bursting for the chance to instant message. Each time I signed in, I got an instant message within the first minute. And they kept on coming.
But first, an example of a complete profile:
"I am in search of a strong enlightened woman Of an Old-fashion Sexy & Beauty;
Of whom, can not only motive me to be a good man for myself & our relationship...But also,
One of whom, can inspire me to become a great human-being for all of Mankind....
....by simple' Love me, with a god-centered way of Loving!"
And this lovely gentlemen wrote to me. Oh yes indeed, God-centered loving is what I am jonesing for.
Now on to the mail. Let me point out that these are not extracts, but emails sent to me in their entirety.
* the accent really works...your attitude will be a bonus!
* So your a brit too huh? err so fancy talking with a younger man that has the hots for you?, hope your a bit curious you b-e-autiful blonde!! just a bit of fun banter babe while your waiting for mr right (From Hull, England. Aged 21)
* just wanted to say hi and invite you to Kopperfields in bayridge tonight it is located at 8910 5th ave.if you have any questions or just wanna chat send me a message.
* you single wanna chat ("hi cutie" in subject line)
* hi, how are you? just wanna say hello
*Baby
Happy Holidays sweet heart
I'm educate generous expressive romantic
Very open minded
If u wanna my pic?
Sen me u email Baby
*HOW R U
* can we talk? I'll behave unless you tell me not to? (from Wisconsin. How much misbehaving could we possibly do?)
From Virginia *You will do just fine. If you leave Brooklyn now you will be here before morning. I will welcome you with a nice cup of tea. I shall google the term "winger" so I will be up to speed. What a relief to find a wealthy, available woman so quickly. Cheers!
At first, I was bemoaning the lack of content in the email, but later it became clear that less is most certainly more.
Here's an example:
I am From L.I.C Queens.
I am interested in getting to you!
I am a single 35 year old guy,
I dont look my age.
I am looking for someone to love and cherish
I can offer alot, Namely me and my heart
I am italian and irish
im looking for someone special to get to know and form
a friendship with
I enjoy the simple things life has to offer.
I also enjoy spending time with family too
We Both have strong values
I am a very affectionate person.
I do believe what's important is a person's heart.
So please take a look at my profile,
The distance shouldnt be a issue.
If your interested please write me back ok?
"Distance shouldnt be a issue"??? You are in Queens ya daft apeth, not Zimbabwe.
Maybe things would get better if I searched for someone on the site rather than just waiting for the emails to roll in. I did a brief search and found a profile of an interesting, good looking guy, but with the unfortunate handle of "luvmy9inch".
So, as frustrating as this site can be, stick with it. It really is the best one out there! (Unless you are an adult literacy specialist and determined to educate the country one person at a time. In this case, man will you be happy)
Here are some I made earlier:
Are you insulted?
Juicy Lips
Dear John, F*ck Off
Cry, get mad, move on soundtrack
Obama Babies
Granny Porn
Josh Hartnett
