The Modern Materialist

These apron vases from Perch! look like a gang to me — the sort of gang that might follow kids home from school with a batch of brownies, finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off, and pitchers of fresh-made Raspberry lemonade. The last time I wanted to be in school so bad was the semester back in my sophomore year of college when I had a crush on the TA in my poli sci class.

[$48, Supermarket HQ] 

1. Scour them for typos and grammatical errors.
2. Cut them up and form cryptic haikus with them.
   1. We are so sorry
   2. pretty thoroughly lately
   3. unfortunately.
3. Decoupage them onto cardboard boxes.
4. Cuddle up to them on the couch and sob.
   
5. Toss them out:

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I have to say, owning these snapable cups would TOTALLY FREAK ME OUT. Not because I’m scared of snaps (I am, they’re frightening), but because I’d be convinced they’d fall apart at any second.

Okay, for those of you who haven’t caught on yet, these are 3oz ceramic cups, with clothing snaps in the outer walls. So you can take a bunch of them, and put them together in whatever design you like (as pictured above), then snap them apart to serve thimble-fulls of delicious honey-water*.

After the jump, check out a video of the cups in action... 

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These US Candidate finger puppets beg some very important questions:

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Five Things I Do To Relax:

1. Read in bed.
2. Take a 30-minute shower.
3. Watch hours upon hours of quality Bravo or MTV reality programming.
   
4. Attend a callanetics class.
5. Umm...this is hard. I mean, I couldn't manage to stay away from the laptop for more than three days on my honeymoon. I just felt that I should be productive. Maybe I should incorporate this into my chill-out repertoire:

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Generally, I don’t like waste. I’m not the most green person in the world (I have my laptop running all day, so let’s be honest here), but neither do I feel it’s necessary to get my lunch in a to go bag, if I’m only walking a block or two and then eating it.

I guess my point is, if there’s an option NOT to waste material in my daily life, I take it. Sadly, the option I’m about to present is really for the ladies out there, but if you’re willing to add a piece of outer-wear to your permanent collection, and you drink a lot of coffee, then I might highly encourage you to purchase one of these.

What is one of these, you might ask in a highly awkward sentence structure kind of way? Find out, after the jump...

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It's been over a year and a half since my terrible accident. It was a regular haircut like any other. When the stylist asked is I wanted to try a "creative cut," I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Sure, why not?...Just don't give me a mullet or anything." Twenty minutes later, to my ultimate horror, I looked like this:

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There are very few things that are more shameful that being a Star Trek fan. Being a Star Wars fan occasionally falls into that category (though they keep switching levels back and forth). Babylon 5 fans are lower on the geek scale, though they would argue they’re smarter and cooler, which only makes them geekier. Battlestar Galactica fans, of course, are actually cool. Cough.

However, it takes a special kind of person to admit that they are a die-hard Stargate fan. Now, 100% honestly, and I know you guys won’t believe this, but I am NOT a die-hard Stargate fan. I know, it’s like the one thing I don’t geek out about, right?

After the jump, discover my shameful secret... 

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I carry around this strip of photos in my business card case, folded in half, because obviously I'm too cool to do the wallet photo thing and, well, these pictures make me laugh. 

There's something just so retro-nostalgic about getting your pic taken in a photobooth these days, that makes me think of growing up and going on family vacations to Wildwood Crest.

We got these pictures taken at Seaside (Sleazeside) Heights, on Mardi Gras Day (hence, the beads). We had just enjoyed the massive slices at Three Brothers Pizza and a by-god, hardy Italian sausage & pepper sandwich, and I just knew that cotton candy was in my future.

I also wanted to hit up the arcade, and maybe play some basketball, and definitely waltz around in the surf until I was completely soaked.

The look on my face in the bottom photo is slightly frightened confusion and exasperation. I was probably wondering how it was that I found myself married to such a weirdo. 

Oh Happy Day was just blogging about her photobooth photo album, and I began to idly wonder if I could find an album made specially for photobooth pics.

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You can slip it in your wallet, it shaves minutes off your prep-time, and in a pinch you can even use it to help keep the blood-suckers at bay. Find out what it is after the jump.

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[$9.95, HotWicks] 

I wonder if lighting the Beer Candle would tear my husband away from the computer and get him in the mood for...anything. Or perhaps the Stripper Candle (though such an affinity would probably worry me).

I'm actually torn between the Coffee Candle and the Dryer Sheet Candle. Though the scent of my Bavarian Chocolate coffee grinds centers me in the morning, I always get an extra spring in my step when I pass by a laundromat and smell the unmistakable scent of Clean.

After the jump, vote on which one I should order:

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Things these tissues will be good for, after the jump...

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Top five things you ccan do with the Fork Up bottle opener:

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Right now, I’m trapped, sitting in my apartment. I’m typing on my laptop, while two feet away is a giant window looking out at people having fun and frolicking in the almost-warmth. Instead of going with them, I’m here, slaving away at my desk, like some sort of Blogging Monkey*.

Point is, this weekend, screw you guys, I’m going outside. And not only am I going outside, I’m going to the park. And even better than that… I’m going to have a picnic. A DELICIOUS picnic. Which I shall carry in my sweet-ass Malibu Picnic Tote.

Find out more about its sweet ass, after the jump... 

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Ever wonder what really turns a women on?

Find out once and for all after the jump...

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Okay, Materialistas... You guys got our last "Guess What" in a snap, so this time, we've made it a little harder... Literally. This little item is just under $10, and is definitely NOT a needle case. Put your guesses in the comments section, and we'll update you once someone guesses it correctly!

Check after the jump for the correct answer... 

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Yes, I'm going to a slumber party. And yes, I'm 27.

The birthday girl is turning 28.

It promises to be a major nostalgia-fest. I'm crossing my fingers that there's:

1. A major board game tournament (I'm bringing Boggle and Scattergories to get the ball rolling...)
2. Pizza (and not that generic Domino's crap either; I want good, local pizzeria pizza)
3. Makeovers
4. Craft projects
5. Ghost stories, perhaps spurred along by a good, old-fashioned...

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Ten Things I'd Rather be Listening to than the Smooth Jazz from the Laptop of the Guy Sitting Next to Me:

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As well documented on this blog, I very much liked to take things apart and put them back together again. Therefore, as I’m sure you can guess, I kind of totally loved Legos (and Lincoln Logs, but in retrospect, I may have been wrong to love them). I also loved riding my bike, or hot wheels, or any sort of vehicle I could get my hands on.

So thank you, Berg Toys, for creating Moov, which is basically Legos meets Hot Wheels.

Check out a video of the Moov in action, after the jump... 

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[$25, Shanalogic] 

This Trend Watch post is dedicated to reader, Adam, who wrote saying he loved robots and included links to a couple of cool robot products. I did my own search and sure enough, robots are everywhere. Some links and photos after the jump.

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I mean, think about it: when’s the last time you gave your S.O. a Hummer, right? Probably at the beginning of your relationship, you guys were all Hummer crazy. Every night, you gave your guy a Hummer, and he was all like, “I love Hummers! Give me more Hummers!” And you were all like, “I don’t know if I can, my mouth is sore… From talking to the car dealership every day to buy you cars!”

Psyche! You thought I was talking about something dirty, when I was ACTUALLY talking about the car, the Hummer. I totally tricked you suckers. Also, I made an incredibly original pun that no-one has ever made before. Ever.

After the jump, more hilarious blow-job jokes, and actual information on the Mini Hummer... 

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Because I believe decorating/designing a home is always a work in progress, I wanted to share with you, well, our progress. As you can see from the photo above, there hasn't been much progress from a couple weeks ago when I first posted about the big empty wall space. In fact, there's still nothing on the wall, but look, a lampshade! And a plant! And some of the clutter is cleaned up! Anyway, I think Drew and I decided what to do with all that space above the couch...

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The original hamster dance grew in popularity so quickly that an entire empire of dancing hamsters was born, spawning dance remixes and entire soundtracks that make me question my faith in humanity. And for awhile there, I thought perhaps we had gone too far.

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The MM Interview is a feature where I chat with people I like about stuff they love. Today I’m talking to Zac Posen employee Mary Burke about the Verizon Wireless USB720 Modem, which she says is the perfect option for working on the road. Enough jibber jabber, let’s get this party started!

MM: Okay, so tell me a little bit about yourself (because we’ve just met, right? Nothing up my sleeves?)

MB: My name is Mary! I work in the Production department at Zac Posen, a luxury women's wear designer. I oversee all of the steps required to get looks from the runway shows made and sold in stores. It might sound cool, but it's still just a job.

Check out the rest of the interview, after the jump! 

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Tuesdays are great days for Steph and me because it's hoop class day. But today is an extra special Tuesday...

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[$68, Room Service Home] 

I've been noticing a pattern in my posting. The odd warm day has been leading to post stuff like this and this. Meanwhile, in a super-close vote, you guys have expressed the opinion that bird-centric decor is passe. But I'm just not willing to let go. I've been hearing birs singing outside my bedroom window and, while their presence makes my cat chatter menacingly, it only makes me feel more buoyant.

So you'll just have to bear with me here. There's a special treat if you can manage to make it to the end.

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I think we all have a good sense here of what sort of things we like, right? Steph and Wendy like delicate assemblages of tasteful furniture and clothing, while I like video game pillows.

At least, that’s what I assume Wendy was telling me when she e-mailed me this particular item, saying she thought of me when she saw it.  And I’d get super pissed about it too, except, well, she’s totally spot on. More deets after the jump...

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[$69.99, Target] 

I'm sorry. I really couldn't help myself. It was just too hilarious and, besides, that "See You Again" song they keep playing on the radio was reaching into my soul and tugging at my insides. 

 This Hannah Montana iPod speaker system is purple as well, and purple is my favorite color. So there.

After the jump, sing along to "See You Again" with the help of a karaoke-like video splashed with visually offensive neons, and share how you feel about the teeny pop star with one of our polls.

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[$85, MoMA Store] 

Today's quick tip is also a bit of a Sweet and Low post. I know it's a bit of a risk throwing so much at you this early in the morning, but we've gotten to know each other these last couple of months and I feel confident you can handle it. Okay, ready?

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[$5.89, Prank Place] 

I don't know about you, but I no longer throw the types of parties that involve beer bottles and cigarettes. Nay, my idea of a party involves taking out the nice stemware and the discount wine and picking up some gouda at Whole Foods so that I can pretend to be classy.

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