Damn, this was a busy week. We fell in and out of love, we traveled, we encountered racism, and as always, we saw some boobs. Oh, and story of our lives: he never called.

Highs:

Susan Sarandon's boobs. 

A sandwich that we want to make love to (even if we might throw up a little after). 

You can now get a double dildo in Texas!

If you like "The Wire," you'll love "Wire You Laughing?" 

Coolio has a cooking show and we want in on that shit. 

Michael Musto does Lindsay Lohan's Marilyn Monroe... a little better, if you ask us.  

A pro-Barack Obama video not made by Will.I.Am. 

Ellen Page might have come out on Saturday Night Live. Or maybe not.  

Lows: 

As much as we'd like to think otherwise, we learned that Kansas City—Scanner Emily's hometown, which is in Missouri—is still a little racist.

Women running in high heels to prove that "shopping is a sport."

At least we get something out of bad movies: great reviews. 

We're not sure if this is actually a good or bad thing, but Italian men are being fined for grabbing their crotches in public. 

Outer Space can suck it. So there. 

Can we just wrap-up this Democratic primary already? 

Michael McDonald never called Scanner Emily. We're still waiting! 

We learned that Hooters will survive the apocalypse.