Our fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.
The exclamation point means extra thrills! At least, I wish it did. Alas, 1961’s Bloodlust! is just another B-movie from the bottom half of a drive-in double feature, even if it does feature one of Robert “Mike Brady” Reed’s earliest leading roles.
I’m not gonna lie to you folks. I’m now a dozen movies into this experiment and it feels like I’ve watched merely five times that many. Only now are the full implications of sitting through 88 more of these crimes against cinema – all of which have been deemed by you, the movie-ranking public, to be even worse than the ones I’ve already seen – beginning to sink in. But I know my calling in life, I have made a vow to you loyal Screengrab readers, and I will see it through even at the cost of my sanity. No, please. I don’t want your pity. I will, however, accept your money. (My book is still available! Makes a great Father’s Day gift!)
Anyway, back to Bloodlust!, which proves to be yet another knockoff of a story most of us read in grade school, The Most Dangerous Game. We have two young couples vacationing together on a yacht piloted by a drunken sea captain. While the cap’n is passed out, Johnny & Betty and Pete & Jeanne decide to hop in the dingy and check out the mysterious island they never noticed before. Hey, let’s have a clambake on the beach! It’s all fun and games until they run into Dr. Albert Balleau (Wilton Graff, a graduate of the BWA-HA-HA-HA!! School of Acting), a kajillionaire who lives on the island with his trembly wife, drunken pal Dean and a staff of grizzled thugs dressed like extras from a Popeye cartoon.
Balleau is a big game hunter, but when one of the couples stumbles onto his trophy room, they discover the horrifying truth: Soylent Green is people! Er, no, wait. The Most Dangerous Game is people! Yes, Balleau has an impressive collection of stuffed humans in a variety of delightful poses. It turns out that the drunken sea cap’n supplied Balleau with escaped convicts for his hunting pleasure. Now Johnny and the gang will become his latest prey.
Bloodlust! is unoriginal, cheaply made and forgettable in every way, but again, I don’t see it as Bottom 100 material. It may not have much going for it, but it does have…quicksand! And really, that’s all I ask. Try harder, people!
Previously on Unwatchable:
90. The Bat People
91. Horrors of Spider Island
92. I Accuse My Parents
93. Howling III: The Marsupials
94. Invasion of the Neptune Men