Why, you might think, can I not reach the option? It’s because there are bullets and meteors and evil spaceships everywhere, that’s why. Gradius requires lightning fast reflexes and keen memorization skills! The text might tell you that but it doesn’t explain just how fast that Vic Viper’s going to have to maneuver. That’s probably why text might not be the best format for the twenty-year-old shoot ‘em up franchise. YouTube user shmupnut thought differently, as you can see from this re-imagining of Gradius as an old fashioned text adventure.
Personally, I’d like to see this idea in reverse. Take a beloved text adventure from yesteryear like Infocom’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and turn it into a twitchy shooting game with a spaceship moving from left to right with the sole goal of not exploding. Your power-ups could be keen wit and melancholia!
Thanks to Gay Gamer for the spot.