My relationship with Pokémon has always been focused on the phenomenon, not the game. Watching the cartoon, cards, games, and films descend on Western culture between September of 1998 and December of 1999 was not unlike witnessing a natural disaster from a reinforced safe-house; I was scared but secure in other games, fascinated but not brave enough to go outside to try and document the event. I was sixteen when Pokémon Blue and Red came out, slightly too old to be caught in the flood. I got around to trying out Blue in July ’99, just to see what all the fuss was about. It was horrible. Too slow, too simple, too oblique. I put it down and never went back. Over the past decade, Pokémon has refused to die, maintaining a stranglehold on gamers of all ages, and I’ve started to wonder, yet again, if I’m missing out on something. There has to be a reason people return to these games. The brand is strong enough to survive without proper handheld entries from Nintendo, why do people keep going back for more. At twenty-six, now a bold videogame journalist, and it’s time for me to weather the storm. Join me, dear reader, as I plunge into the world of Pokémon Diamond searching for unholy knowledge of gaming’s darkest secrets.
1:50pm – Powering up the DS now. Maybe I’ll just play some Phoenix Wright instead or… NO! I must master my fear.
1:51 – This music is downright ominous. No joke.
1:53 – “At times, you will be challenged by others to a battle. At other times, wild creatures may stand in your way.” Apparently, playing Pokémon is not unlike going to a flea market or touring an Amish farm.
1:55 – You know, I love it when games let me choose my gender, even though it typically means the majority of the game will end up being gender neutral. Not sure what to do here, though. On the one hand, the guy’s hat is jaunty, but on the other, I look smashing in a pink skirt.
1:57 – I am a big girl now.
2:00 – Some old guy says my own tale of grand adventure is about to unfold. I am not comforted.
2:01 – My grand adventure started with my character watching TV. What the hell?
2:02 – There has got to be a way to move faster than this. My god, the character in Dragon Warrior moved faster. Cool music, though.
2:04 – Don’t go in the tall grass!!!!
Click here for part 2.