If you thought the Angry Video Game Nerd probably pulled something or lost some vital part of his soul while reviewing the truly wretched Superman 64...you'd be right. That's why he needs us all to chip in, ease him onto his crutches and help him review another digital terror: Deadly Towers for the NES.
How does a mortal gamer even begin to describe Prince Myer's wack adventure? Let's turn to Seanbaby. Seanbaby is not a mortal, but actually a demigod and the all-purpose warrior that arts and crafts booklets are referring to when they tell you not to turn on the oven or use scissors without an adult present. Because Seanbaby's intestines are lined with lead, he was able to play Deadly Towers and place it at its deserved #1 spot in his list of The 20 Worst NES Games Of All Time:
"Deadly Towers. This game was originally called, "Shitty Towers," but when seventeen play testers went on a homicidal rampage, its name was changed to remind us all of that cold, bloody morning.
"Don't try to make sense of it. Just do everything in your power to not play this game."
How does the Angry Video Game Nerd plan to take on that is accursed in the sight of God? One thing's for sure: it'll be a pretty big project and the Nerd is asking everyone for their best swears. He's stocking up for the event like an '80s family hoarding tinned food for the Apocalypse.
For the record, I have played Shitty Towers. I can't properly relay the experience because my brain is still trying to purge the poison. I can liken it to this much, though: have you ever read volume two of Brian Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim? Do you remember when started having screaming flashbacks brought on by the sheer weirdness of Honest Ed's Department Store? It was a bit like that, except a gremlin also popped out of my stomach and asked me why I had breath while his daughter lay stone dead in my colon.
Related Links:
Periphery: Angry Video Game Nerd Edition
Wow, Superman 64 Really Was Terrible
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