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61 Frames Per Second

Me and My Bitchin' Backlog

Posted by Bob Mackey

Don't lie to me. If you're a gamer, you've got a backlog. And for most of us, these stacks of unplayed and/or unfinished games are a testament to poor choices, personal failures, and conspicuous amounts of disposable income/growing debt. The first step in all of this is to admit that we have a problem, and that's exactly the point of this post. I will air my dirty laundry for all to see, only if you promise to do the same. Please abide by the rules of Web 2.0, and no one gets hurt.

What follows is a list of shame, my reasons for giving up, and a prediction of if I'll ever go back and play with these little digital orphans. I hope this doesn't take longer than I think it will.

Game: Final Fantasy XII

Reason for Quitting: Too much grinding/something about an evil twin.

Will I Go Back: I already started again today.  THE CYCLE BEGINS ANEW.



Game: Etrian Odyssey 2

Reason for Quitting:  The first game was difficult in a way you could respect;  the sequel exaggerates the difficulty to the point of tedium.

Will I Go Back: Probably.  I finished the first game, so I have the kind of mental problems that will keep me coming back to the sequel.



Game: Final Fantasy Tactics A2

Reason for Quitting: I think I put it down for the Final Fantasy IV remake, which was probably a mistake.

Will I Go Back:  It's likely.  Final Fantasy Tactics is the perfect game to play when stuck in mass-transit.



Game: Zack and Wiki

Reason for Quitting: God did I love it, but that death mechanic really tried to destroy the fun at every opportunity.

Will I Go Back: I'm so close to the end, it would be pretty stupid if I didn't.



Game: Half-Life 2:Episode 2

Reason for Quitting: It's pretty intense, and I need to be in the right mood for something like that.

Will I Go Back: I have vowed to do this before Episode 3, so I've got at least another year.



Game: Osu! Tatake! Ouendan 2

Reason for Quitting: The music isn't as good as the first game, and I think the gameplay itself has become less of a novelty.

Will I Go Back: One day, if only for import gaming street cred.



Game: Bionic Commando:Rearmed

Reason for Quitting: The last level: huge jerk.

Will I Go Back: I have to say yes, or some people on 61 FPS may hurt me.

Note: This does not include the games I have that I'd like to replay; that material belongs on a longer, though equally-compelling, list. But before I do that, tell me of your own secret shames.

Related Links:

Games You Keep Coming Back To
Final Fantasy IV DS: Love, Hope and Betrayal For the Busy Commuter
Bionic Commando is Love: Bionic Commando Rearmed is Out. It Matters.


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

R-mor said:

I've got a few games on Backlog myself. For instance I've never been able to beat FF7 Sephiroth's one winged angel form kills me every time.

I recently got FF6 on my snes emulator and I got slaughtered VERY early on in the final dungeon. I just don't feel like power leveling for days 'til all the characters (and lets face it some of those guys are pretty useless) can take it.

E.V.O The search for Eden kicked my butt as well. The queen Bee at the end of the Amphibian chapter just will not die.

I've never gotten to beat Shadow Hearts 2 but that one's only half my fault. I bought it used and disc 2 has a scratch that keeps it from loading at all. Same with my copy of God of War 2.

September 18, 2008 7:59 PM

Roto13 said:

Final Fantasy XII is better the second time, so have fun with that. I'm STILL playing Final Fantasy Tactics A2 three months later.

I still have to play more Disgaea and Oblivion. Problem is I can't bring myself to actually like either of them. (I don't understand the love for Oblivion. The battle system is horrible. The game would be great if you never had to fight anything.)

September 18, 2008 9:56 PM

Matt Little said:

Oh GOD...now this doesn't include games I've purchased and not yet picked up...

- Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (at the end, CANNOT beat it, took my ball and went home)

- FF XII (SO damn exhausting, I put it down to play something simple and then never picked it back up...but I still love it.  Like Denise Richards, It's Complicated)

- Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (shameful of me)

- Star Ocean: Until The End of Time

- GTA: San Andreas (I have the broken Zero mission version.  Finding out it was the game, and not me, was a relieving feeling like finding out math is wrong, and yes, 2+2=5)

You know what?  This list is almost triple that there.  I'm going to stop typing and start trying to finish some games.

September 19, 2008 10:05 AM

Josh said:

Zak and Wiki is worth finishing, but man if it isn't annoying over the last few levels.  It requires such precise wii-mote actions with no room for error, and if you fail, you die and have to do the whole level over.  Arrgh.

September 19, 2008 10:40 AM

Bob Mackey said:

Yeah, that's what pissed me off the most about Zack and Wiki; one of my biggest beefs in modern gaming (which I will write about later) is how the outdated "lives" mechanic punishes punishes players with redundancy, i.e. playing large sections over again.  If Zack and Wiki existed in the safe LucasArts adventure world, I wouldn't feel like the game was punishing me for experimenting.

September 19, 2008 12:39 PM

About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

If unsatisfied, please return unused portion for partial refund.

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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