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  • Alternate Soundtrack: Super Star Soldier vs. MSTRKRFT

    I said it was one for another day, and I meant it.

    In celebration of Labor Day, I wanted a game that felt like mindless work, so I went with one of the most celebrated shoot 'em ups (or "shmups") of all time, Super Star Soldier for the Turbo Grafx 16 (PC Engine outside of North America). As the most popular entry in the most popular shmup series in gaming history, Super Star Soldier pretty much sets up the formula by which all other great shmups apply: you fly around, pretty much never stop shooting, destroy waves of enemies, collect power-ups that turn your ordinary gun into varying degrees of screen-filling destruction festivals, memorize increasingly complex enemy movement patterns, and then face a big bad boss with obvious weak points. It sounds simple until you fall over in an epileptic fit. Despite the fact that the game routinely kicks my ass every time I play it, I still come back because its just so much fun. My only qualm, as always, is the music, which just seems far too upbeat and standard. It sounds like Street Fighter II, which worked in the fighter because it was so goofy, but just comes across as out of place in a galaxy-hopping shooter.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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