If this were a stadium full of slavering TV fans, we'd be all like "Are you people ready to get the new season started? How many of y'all are hot for Prison Break? [pause for audience hollering] How many of y'all wanna give it up for Gossip Girl? [another pause, holding the microphone out to the bleachers] Yeaaaaaahhhh..." And then we'd, like, do a little air guitar pose while fireworks went off in the shape of Ben Silverman and we'd launch the new TV season with all the fanfare that it deserves.
But this ain't a stadium full of maniacally excited couch surfers. It's just the web. On a holiday. So if you're reading this, for God's sake, don't. Find a friend who's watching Prison Break or Gossip Girl (or heck, even Raising The Bar) that you can get to in the next, um, 45 minutes, and run over there and hang out a little, have a drink, socialize. Then meet back here tomorrow morning, 'cause we got a lot of fun stuff going on this year to share with you, starting today with our full Top Ten lists of new and returning shows below, and tomorrow with recaps and news on all your favorite shows.
See ya tomorrow when you're too hungover to get anything done at work!
TOP TEN NEW SHOWS
#1. "Fringe"
#2. "True Blood"
#3. "90210"
#4. "Life On Mars"
#5. "The Mentalist"
#6. "Sons of Anarchy"
#7. "Do Not Disturb"
#8. "Eleventh Hour"
#9. "Kath & Kim"
#10. "Knight Rider"
TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS
#1. "30 Rock" & "Terminator"
#2. "Dexter"
#3. "Gossip Girl"
#4. "Pushing Daisies"
#5. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"
#6. "Heroes"
#7. "Dirty Sexy Money"
#8. "House"
#9. "Entourage" / "Californication"
#10. "The Shield"