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The Weekly Rewind: We're All Just a Bunch of Gossip Girls

Posted by Ben Kallen

 

Politics, TV shows, celebrities: It's all a mess of tawdry gossip. So why don't we delve right back into it with the highlights of the week:

As the new TV season started, we watched the premieres of Raising the Bar, America's Next Top Model, Sons of Anarchy, Gossip Girl and also 90210. And what did we learn? Teenagers and models are far more interesting than lawyers. (Sorry, Mark-Paul Gosselaar!)

We reported that David Duchovny had entered rehab for being a sex addict, maybe because he looked at too much computer porn. Then we heard it was actually because he fooled around with hot women. Which may be worse, but is far less embarrassing.

We found some funny-shaped Hannah Montana candy -- and, boy, did you guys have a lot to say about it!

We learned that Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester was almost born in jail. (We thought about hugging her and telling her that it doesn't matter, but didn't want to deal with the restraining order.)

We revealed a secret plot to suck your soul into a computer.

We heard from wacky old guys Alec Baldwin and David Letterman

We overheard some heartfelt commentary at the Republican convention, and discovered that VP candidate Sarah Palin is made for TV.

We saw reporters get rocked like a hurricane.

We learned that in space, no one can hear you swear. (Correctly, anyway.)

We worried about Heidi and Spencer leaving The Hills, and about Kim Bauer coming back to 24.

But we can't wait to see Britney at the VMAs -- and talk to you about it next week.


Photo: The CW

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Summer's End


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About Ben Kallen

Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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