Politics, TV shows, celebrities: It's all a mess of tawdry gossip. So why don't we delve right back into it with the highlights of the week:
As the new TV season started, we watched the premieres of Raising the Bar, America's Next Top Model, Sons of Anarchy, Gossip Girl and also 90210. And what did we learn? Teenagers and models are far more interesting than lawyers. (Sorry, Mark-Paul Gosselaar!)
We reported that David Duchovny had entered rehab for being a sex addict, maybe because he looked at too much computer porn. Then we heard it was actually because he fooled around with hot women. Which may be worse, but is far less embarrassing.
We found some funny-shaped Hannah Montana candy -- and, boy, did you guys have a lot to say about it!
We learned that Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester was almost born in jail. (We thought about hugging her and telling her that it doesn't matter, but didn't want to deal with the restraining order.)
We revealed a secret plot to suck your soul into a computer.
We heard from wacky old guys Alec Baldwin and David Letterman.
We overheard some heartfelt commentary at the Republican convention, and discovered that VP candidate Sarah Palin is made for TV.
We saw reporters get rocked like a hurricane.
We learned that in space, no one can hear you swear. (Correctly, anyway.)
We worried about Heidi and Spencer leaving The Hills, and about Kim Bauer coming back to 24.
But we can't wait to see Britney at the VMAs -- and talk to you about it next week.
Photo: The CW
Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Summer's End