So Evan, what do you do for a living?
I'm a graphic designer in Midtown.
Does that get you dates?
Absolutely not. I got my last date from someone walking into my kitchen — a friend of my roommate's. Dated her for a year and a half. I have a hundred-percent success rate with that method, so I'm just waiting for that to happen again. I have no reason to doubt that it won't.
If you like someone, how do you make it happen?
Stare real hard. Kind of open my shirt a bit. And then make a bunch of clumsy advances until they push me away or fall right in. It's fool-proof.
I love it. Is there a kind of girl you tend to fall for?
I'm trying to avoid the frizzy-haired Sarahs in my life. I'm avoiding the destiny that my mother planned out for me. Right now the archetype is volleyball players. Tall blondes.
Do you have any deal-breakers?
I have a lot of deal-breakers! Get ready! You can't use these words more than twice a week: "awesome," "awkward," "zeitgeist."
Have you ever offended anyone in the bedroom? You're laughing like it's a yes.
No, I just made a really imprudent comment. I'll never again poke someone's stomach and say "That's cute!" I didn't think it was tear-worthy, but someone else did.
Oh no, did she cry? That sucks.
Yeah, I know. See? Now you're making this well back up. Thanks a lot.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a student at NYU. I have a double major in economics and film production.
Do you think the dating pool is better in one versus the other?
No, I haven't had much luck in either. I date outside of my majors. But I think film people, just based on this shared passion. With economics it seems a little bit more random sometimes.
Do you have any crazy ex-girlfriends?
I had a quick girlfriend in high school who was just...
I love that phrase. "A quick girlfriend."
A quick girlfriend. A few weeks. I think she just liked the image of me, and I think she just liked that if she was with me it meant x, y, and z. She was just obsessed with me for no apparent reason. Knew nothing about me. That was disheartening. That's the only one I could think of.
Have you ever offended anyone in the bedroom?
If I date women who are also with men, I think sometimes I ask questions in a way that's not sensitive. But more laughing offended, not hurt offended.
Do you have any favorite hook-up stories?
Not really.
Any horror stories?
Actually, my favorite hook-up story... I studied abroad in Uganda, and Uganda's trying to pass a law to give homosexuals the death sentence. I was seeing a girl while I was there, and that was satisfying to just be with her there. It was secret and everything.
Were you ever worried?
No. No one was onto us.
That's badass. How long were you in Africa for?
For a semester. We met there. It was just a fleeting, short thing.
What kind of person do you consistently fall for?
Women who are well read. Someone with a lot of favorite authors and stuff like that. Also, people who have their own side projects outside of their major or specific job. Things that they're always working on or developing. I think that's hot.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a photographer.
Does that get you dates?
I can't hear you.
Does that get you dates?
I don't take advantage of it. I'm not going to go around fucka-graphing people.
What do you look for in a woman?
Sex.
Sex?
Basically.
Is there a certain type that you go for?
Yeah. The one that likes to have sex. I'm not a deep man.
Do you have any favorite sex stories?
Yeah. I'm on a bus and I see this woman get on the bus, on Madison Avenue, and she looks just like Sophia Loren. Just like her. Really, just like her. I couldn't believe it. And I say to her, she's standing across from me, and I say, "You look like Sophia Loren." And she says, "What?" and asks me to come over and sit next to her, and I said, "You really look like Sophia Loren. I'm just curious, what's your name?" And she says, "Sophia." And I said, "Sophia what?" She said, "Loren."
So I said, "Oh, hi. Marcello." And she says, "What? What do you mean?" I say, "Marcello Mastroianni, Sophia Loren." And she says, "You little schmuck, you. You don't know who I am or who I'm supposed to be."
So I said, "Little schmuck? I think that's the end of our conversation." And she says, "No, no, no, let's go to your place."
Oh my God!
I said, "I don't think so. The little schmuck doesn't want to." So she says to me, "I apologize. I didn't mean it." She wanted to have sex. So we went over to my place, we go in and she takes her clothes off.
Just, right away?
Right away. And she's on the bed. So, I took my clothes off, and I'm a big boy, and she really looked fantastic. And if it wasn't Sophia Loren, it was a great impersonation. It was fantastic. She sees me and I'm as big as I've ever been. And she got frightened — and started shaking! She has never had a larger... you know, the guys she hangs out with. I could have been her little schmuck as much as she wanted.
I don't think we're going to beat that.
Most people say to me, "Was it really Sophia Loren?" And I tell them, "If she told me her name was Ed Koch I still would have screwed her."
Interviews by Meghan Pleticha. Photography by Sean McGurn.
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rt commented on 04/08absolutely agree. best ever!
Me commented on 04/08Wade...just...oh boy...Wade.
smd commented on 04/08Wade was great! Would like to see them mix it up more with the young and old.
kb commented on 04/08Uganda represent!
jm commented on 04/08Devon can have me any way she wants.
h commented on 04/08Evan and Matt are hilarious--I laughed out loud. I think Wade's putting you on, though. Sophia Loren, my ass!
PO commented on 04/08Nobody was vapid and worthless this week! Yaay! Spring!
DCF commented on 04/08Wade made my morning. I can't believe a word of his story, but it was great anyway.
TwL commented on 04/08Ca't use "zeitgeist" more than twice a week—hilarious.
Hmmm commented on 04/08Devon looks like Natalie Merchant.
JJ commented on 04/08Fallen in love with both Rex and Wade... for two very different reasons.
SR commented on 04/08Best Talking to Strangers Ever!
Ben commented on 04/08Wade made my morning. Yes, he's probably lying. No, I don't give a shit. I am looking forward to being old so that I can drink during the daytime and tell obvious lies to young people.
an commented on 04/08Hey Devon, come down to Tampa :D
hgk commented on 04/08the guy whose strategy is not to be a dick is a total dick. he was the only bad one of the lot. we should come up with a new word for men who refer to women they have dated/slept with as sluts, because that is so uncool. LIke "slutfucker." Or "total dick."
JJ commented on 04/08Wade! Resurrecting Bukowski. Next Talking to Strangers definitely needs more of this age variation! Bad ass!
Lora commented on 04/08Bukowski lives on!!! YAY!!
Cat commented on 04/08Best one yet!! I M M D
Cin commented on 04/08Loved it... MORE, Hooksexup, please give us More!!
KS commented on 04/08I love the term "frizzy-haired Sarahs." Maybe it's because I'm a tall, blond boy, but I always thought the "frizzy-haired Sarahs" I met were hot.
eric commented on 04/08Shame on Matt! First of all, some of us Jews respect other people's religions. Second, Jesus was a member of the tribe!
Joe commented on 04/08Hooksexup, ya done good. Hit the showers, kid.
aa commented on 04/09@eric, naw that was hot hot hot. i'm jewish but was subjected to catholic schooling for god knows how many years. i'd defile that boy on an altar in a heartbeat. interested southern jewish boys... write me, baby.
DK commented on 04/09"I can't hear you." Easily best ever reply to a TTS question.
seo commented on 04/09wow
RWL commented on 04/09Jesse had sex with Unckle Kracker?? hillaaarious
AD commented on 04/09Wade's had a few JDs and Cokes. I can imagine him wobbling back and forth. Go Wade!
SS commented on 04/09HIlarious! Loved Wade so much. Definitely need to have more older people. Didn't really know if Devon was male or female...first couple questions thought he was a guy, last few realized she was a girl
Meg commented on 04/09All of these were great, "frizzy haired Saras" "quick girlfriend" "I'm not a deep man" "Uncle Kracker"oh god why! So great, and obviously not all from one place, better selection process.
Dan commented on 04/09Best Talking to Strangers EVER!!! This one will never be topped. Wade: Not only was Sophia Loren on a bus, but the words "Little Schmuck" are in her vocabulary. So funny.
Dan commented on 04/09Also, I don't see the gender confusion with Devon. She's a girl – a very, very cute girl.
V.S. commented on 04/09Matt kind of goes by the motto don't be a dick, then talks about bending some "slut" over in a church, flipping off Jesus, and telling a girl giving head she sucked the passion out of him. Jeez, I'm an atheist and even I think this guy is a schmuck. I love you, Wade!
smc commented on 04/09evan and devon should move down to texas and be my bff
ali commented on 04/10FANTASTIC! Best Talking to Strangers ever! From nerdalicious to totally off the wall. Ed Koch!!! Keep it up Hooksexup!
C.C. commented on 04/10I´d walk in Evan´s kitchen whenever he wants me to!
nbfp commented on 04/11EwRcXS vkesjmheaane, [url=https://xgbuvbfnkwvl.com/]xgbuvbfnkwvl[/url], [link=https://nsnozgrhxtwa.com/]nsnozgrhxtwa[/link], https://pbxvlsijezjt.com/
cnw commented on 04/11this was the best talk to strangers i've ever read. i love the age variation and each person was funny or had a good story
K commented on 04/11Since my boyfriend dumped me, that wretched Uncle Kracker song "Follow Me" will not stop repeating in my head. Maybe if I fucked him, I could shake this thing.
ML commented on 04/12Age variation? They're practically the same with the exception of Jesse and Wade. I would have like to see some thirty or fortysomethings... Still an enjoyable read. Great work.
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| Miss Information by Erin Bradley How can I stop myself from cheating on a great boyfriend? |
| Confession of the Week by You I know that neither of us believe in it, but I think we should get married. |
| Everything I Know About Love I Learned From Riot Grrl by Laura Barcella What bands like Bikini Kill and Sleater-Kinney taught me about relationships. |
| Sex Advice From Glee Fans by Ri Kennedy Q: What's the best way to pick up a Glee fan? A: Two words: karaoke bar. |
| Flirting With Disaster by Ada Calhoun Don't grope your co-workers. I learned the hard way. |
| The Top One Movie of the Week by Scott Von Doviak and Andrew Osborne Our critics choose from Date Night, Letters to God, and The Square. |
| Talking to Strangers by Meghan Pleticha and Sean McGurn "I lost my virginity in a church." |
