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Up All Night: Bad Dudes

Posted by John Constantine

Ah, yes. The action star. Bruce the Willis, Sylvester de Stallone, the Marquis Schwarzenegger; rulers of a vast and glorious domain. Some of their work on the silver screen is considered by many to be classic, even respectable. Films like Terminator, First Blood and Die Hard. But the lot of them also made a considerable amount of Up All Night fodder. Cobra, Commando, Hudson Hawk. During their reign, the action heroes of film had a notable peer in the world of videogames: Guy Wearing Tank Top and Sweatpants. GWTTS did much loved work in games. He played twins Bimmy and Jimmy in Double Dragon and even aped Schwarzenegger and Stallone in his seminal work on Contra. But GWTTS also slummed it in the halls of Up All Night. His masterstroke of trashy goodness? Bad Dudes.

The premise? Why, just look at this screen:



That’s right. Fucking ninjas have kidnapped the leader of the free world and they sent some meathead out to find dudes to rescue him. Their success relies purely on their relative badness. Being a bad dude entails punching ninjas, punching fat dudes who breathe fire, and walking across a series of sixteen wheelers that drive dangerously close to one another.



Skills clearly not in the secret service’s training regiment. If you’re awake this Saturday night at three in the morning, plagued with doubt over whether or not you are a bad dude, Google the name and dig yourself up a ROM. The president will reward you with burgers.



Many thanks to Rob of Murder By Baltimore for reminding us to be bad in his comments from last week's Up All Night.


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Derrick Sanskrit said:

What's worse is that the President's punctuation skills are possibly "badder" than the Dudes are Bad.

May 19, 2008 12:17 PM

Rob said:

HA! HA! HA! HA!

May 19, 2008 2:50 PM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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