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We Can Kick Salman Rushdie’s Ass in Street Fighter

Posted by John Constantine



Probably! I mean, it seems likely, I don’t even know if the guy’s ever played Street Fighter. He is a gigantic geek. Guy can speak Elvish! Admitted it in public and everything. While you might recall my mentioning a number of novelists crossing over into videogames, this is, unfortunately, not one of those stories. No, this is just one of those times that somebody famous said something mildly related to videogames. That, according to the laws of the internet, is news. With a capital EWS. Rushdie, in a chat with Mr. Stephen Colbert, was asked for his thoughts on the coming cultural sea-change in the Islamic world. His response:

Rushdie: I think the only good sign is that a lot of the younger generation in Muslim countries really wants that change. So maybe they will bring it.

Colbert: What can we do to help? Can we send them video games?

Rushdie: I think video games, YouTube, you know, these are the things that will change the world. Because when people see what garbage everybody else is consuming, they want it too.


Oh yeah, buddy? Well, Fury sucked! I’ll show you garbage! Go get yourself another hot wife and then divorce her whydontcha!

I apologize for this story, dear reader. The truth is, I just wanted to say I could kick Salman Rushdie's ass in Street Fighter in a public forum. This was merely an excuse to do so. That said, it has been a deeply satisfying experience.

Anyhoo, thank you, Kotaku. If only for making us into celebrity gossip mongers.


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

corky said:

"Fury" did NOT suck, I tell ya.

June 10, 2008 4:47 PM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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