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What Hath Science Wrought: Spore Freakshow Extravaganza!

Posted by Cole Stryker

What you are about to see will thrill you, chill you to the bone. We at 61 FPS  braved the darkest corners of the internet to bring you this gallery of the most twisted Spore creatures.

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen for a gallery of god-forsaken abominations courtesy of those lovable scamps over at 4chan. You have to wonder if Spore creator Will Wright knew what sort of Pandora's Box he was opening when providing the creeps of the internet with the opportunity to manifest and communicate their perversions. Just wait till the furries hear about this. We've got Homer Simpson in the house, the Biting Pear of Salamanca, and a...uh...flying disembodied penis.

All this and more...after the jump.


 

 

Hey guys, it's Gizmo.

Homer with hooves!

Uh. Hey there. *Shivers*

It's a fellow in blackface on a bicycle. What could be the significance?

Sup guys...oh..oh no.

Pastafarians rejoice!

This winner came with the caption, "It took me four hours to get it to squirt".

Short and stout.

Red Team reporting in.

Turns out Atlas's burden was just a giant tumor growing out of his neck.

PEANUT BUTTAH JELLY TIME!


Lol, Wut

Longcat is Loooong

I want to see an army of these take over that famous Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving scene.

Did John Carpenter design this one?

Finally, phallic imagery was a recurring theme. There were dozens of these.

 

Best for last!


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Amber Ahlborn said:

::sigh::  The male psyche is a fragile, frightening thing.  Predictable too.

June 16, 2008 8:12 PM

Petur Hinrik said:

Hehe, that's just scary.  Being male and straight, I don't think I'd want to look at phallic imagery all day long.

June 17, 2008 5:06 AM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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