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F--k the Moon

Posted by Bob Mackey

I hope Final Fantasy IV can see this, because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

Last week, I cheerily reported on my ongoing affair with the DS remake of Final Fantasy IV, though I did have some reservations about the moon portion of the game, where I was currently stationed.  This week, I committed the ultimate act of hate you can do to a game: sending it back to GameFly unfinished.

For bonus revenge points, I also watched the ending on YouTube.

I did have every intention of beating Final Fantasy IV, but the last dungeon of the game is such a slog that every time you take a step forward, it feels like two steps back. "Two steps back" in this case are the irritating random encounters, which require as much planning and strategy as a boss fight, but with about 10% of the payoff.  I'll give credit to Final Fantasy IV's dungeon for having a save point--while it was there in the original, the DS version of III didn't even add one for the sake of convenience--but I never managed to reach that life-saving spot, even with my all of my characters at my ludicrously high levels.

And woe be to you if you happen upon one of the monster-trapped chests and don't immediately know the trick to beating whatever abomination pops up in front of your party. Having your game end in a single turn comes with that sick, empty feeling of time literally being stolen from your life.

I'm not asking for the game to be a pushover, but for the love of god, they should at least make the 30 hours I've invested in the damn thing seem relevant. One of the reasons both Resident Evil 4 and Half-Life 2 are great is that they make you feel like a total badass by the end of the game--but here I am in Final Fantasy IV, sheepishly running away from enemy encounters (and often getting my ass handed to me) at level 70.  What do you, the folks at home think?  Are frustrating final levels the ultimate test of your skills, or do they just make games outstay their respective welcomes?  Discuss.

Related Links:

Gaming on a Train: Final Fantasy IV
Final Fantasy IV DS: Love, Hope and Betrayal For the Busy Commuter
Are You Buying Final Fantasy IV DS? Huh? Huh? Huh??
You Are A Baby and Games Don't Wanna Make You Cry


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Roto13 said:

RPGs tend to get easier as you go these days. It's like they always expect you to be weaker than you are. I guess they tried not to do that in IV, but ended up on the other, more frustrating side of the spectrum.

I never liked Final Fantasy IV upon hitting the moon, anyway.

August 25, 2008 6:42 PM

Demaar said:

This is a problem I'm having with the Lost Odyssey DLC. My characters managed to hit level 99 while I was slogging through the dungeon, but even after that some of the enemies are still pretty difficult, and impossible if you don't know the little tricks to defeat them. The boss at the end of the dungeon is crazy too.

The problem with RPGs, I think, is that their pacing (as far as playing them go, not cut scenes) kinda hinges on how much you've invested into the game. It's also kind of intangible how much more powerful you become after grabbing a few levels. Where as in a shooter, you'll always get that shotgun on level 6 and you'll always start kicking arse with it every time you re-play, the same as everyone else that plays the game.

August 25, 2008 10:57 PM

9th Sage said:

Personally I'm glad FF IV DS is tough.  I haven't been having too much trouble on the moon though (all characters are over level 70 at this point).  I did get my butt handed to me by that red dragony creature gaurding the crystal gloves though.  Don't think I can beat him....though, it would take awhile, but I bet I could get him if I equip Cecil with Flame Armor and a Cursed Ring. Hmmm... :D

August 26, 2008 3:57 PM

Bob Mackey said:

The Red Dragon killed me instantly, and I toyed with the idea of going back to beat him.  Then I decided that would be 30-40 minutes better spent on anything else.

August 26, 2008 4:19 PM

sean said:

I had the same complaint about the Playsation version. At least I know it's not just me.

August 26, 2008 11:53 PM

Nadia Oxford said:

Sean--You're right, the Playstation version was insanely hard. I never finished it because Zeromus kept destroying me. When FF IV Advance came out, it was so much easier. Huh.

August 27, 2008 2:29 PM

Bob Mackey said:

I too gave up on the PSX version but found the GBA version tolerable :\

August 27, 2008 9:13 PM

About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

If unsatisfied, please return unused portion for partial refund.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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