Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.
Why did a long-dead fried chicken salesman kidnap a brain-dead Baywatch star? It has something to do with cruelty--a cruelty far removed from being aware of this premise. And it in no way involves the trauma of eating grey, veiny chicken, AKA "KFC's original recipe." This wholly ludicrous story of an undead Southern gent turning to a life of crime comes from Peta's new web game, Super Chick Sisters, which may be a crime itself.
The game is an homage to Super Mario Bros. with an activist slant--okay, Mario and Luigi actually appear, so it maybe be a little more than an homage. After Wii-induced injuries find the two brothers completely incapacitated, the lesser-known female duo of Nugget and Chickette--who are baby chicks--must drop their busy lives to save someone who was reportedly attractive over a decade ago. Also, there's something in there about saving their tortured chicken bretheren. I should have paid closer attention.
As far as platformers go, Super Chick Sisters is innocuous to the point of sleep-induction. But as an instructive tool, it's even worse; the messages about animal cruelty are completely removed from the game itself--aside from the hilarious demonization of KFC. All the condemnation of the restaurant chain's practices are delivered via cinema scenes and text bubbles by NPCs that you can safely ignore. If Peta really wanted to show us how terrible chickens are treated by the Sons of Sanders, why not put us into the world of these flightless birds for their final grueling moments on Earth? Not quite as adorable as the Super Chick Sisters, but far more effective. Please insert the Ken Levine quote of your choice here.
Let's get one thing straight: if you like eating meat, you shouldn't be eating Kentucky Fried Chicken, for obvious reasons. Don't let a kooky activist group talk you into things like they've done with so many green dinosaurs in the past:
Yoshi is a metaphor for college freshmen.
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