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Would You Play a Final Fantasy VII Remake? Hmmm?

Posted by Nadia Oxford

The Internet has been rumbling about a mysterious sign that's been popping up in Best Buys around the US of A. It looks like a simple "Coming Soon" release list, but look closer and you'll see the mystery: it lists Final Fantasy VII as an August Playstation 3 release.

Needless to say, this is an error, unless Square's been purposefully silent about a Final Fantasy VII re-release. It would be the merciful route; Sephiroth fangirls would gnaw on themselves and each other while writhing in anticipation of another crack at the silver-haired bishounen. Corporations aren't known for mercy towards their fans, however, and any planned Final Fantasy VII remakes would surely be announced with french horns and dancing poodles.

But would you play a Final Fantasy VII remake? No game is as beloved and reviled as Final Fantasy VII. It was the game that brought the slow and "nerdy" RPG genre to the attention of the mainstream gamer. It's also a very clumsy and awkward game; you'll be hard-pressed to find another big-name title that aged so badly. But a huge chunk of the Internet remembers it as their first RPG and you never do forget your first.

*Cough.*

I would personally play a Final Fantasy VII remake in three seconds. Final Fantasy VII is archaic, it looks awful and Christ only knows what Square was trying to do with the story...but I enjoyed playing it. It's like reading a book by Maeve Binchy: I know her books are always about some shy Irish small-town rose who's smitten by some English swashbuckler who will reveal his true colours, for better or worse, by the end of the novel. Still, I get a certain comfort out of reading those books same as I draw a certain comfort from Final Fantasy VII.

And to be honest, I wouldn't mind conducting some next-gen Mako Reactor espionage, preferably with upgraded tolling bells. Welcome to Shinra, now 50% more ominous.

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Comments

Roto13 said:

I might play a Final Fantasy VII remake if they did it right this time. I didn't think Final Fantasy VII was very good in the first place.

August 4, 2008 2:48 PM

Angelfish_Titan said:

I would probably be up for playing a remake just because I never actually finished the original and I'd feel kinda guilty being a hardcore gamer and never finishing FFVII. I liked the game, it is just that RPGs (as far as videogames go) have never been my thing. Really...Chrono Trigger remake has me more interested, now that was an RPG that kept me happy.

August 4, 2008 4:18 PM

Peter Smith said:

For all the revisionist hating on FF7 (understandable given how crazily out of proportion fanboy love of that game is), there's still a lot about it that's really effective, I think. The opening sequence is immortal, much of the Midgar stuff is awesome, the repeated, Rashomon-style attempts to reconstruct the events at Nibelheim are cool and eerie, and the ending remains hauntingly ambiguous. There's also the awesome moment where, hours in, you're approaching the top of Shinra HQ, thinking you're getting to the lair of the ultimate enemy. The whole game seems to be this rebels-vs.-evil-empire story (which didn't seem that far-fetched given most of the previous games in the series.) You've only gotten these vague references to a former soldier who went batshit some time back. Then when you get to the top of the tower, you discover that that crazy bastard just came back to town in a big way, and the real story is just beginning.

All that said, there's a ton of filler in that game, and the best way to make it great would be to cut it in half, removing all the dross, and polishing the remainder to a glorious sheen, with the themes elegantly explored by a lyrical new translation.

But that will never, ever, happen.

August 4, 2008 4:47 PM

Amber Ahlborn said:

Yes I would actually.  I think if they cleaned up the messy dialog and messy plot, trimmed the fat, it would be an excellent title.  The basic play was fun enough.  Oh, and if Squeenix realized that every character does not have to have a screwed up, depressing back story.  I swear, every single character in the game is a sack of angst.  I wonder if the people who came up with the characters had a contest to see who could come up with the most horrific "the universe hates me and screwed up my life" back story for their character.

August 4, 2008 4:53 PM

Nemo Incognito said:

Yes I would.  I won't hide the fact I am a little nostalgic for it but I do think the game holds up a little better than it's popularly given credit for.  If anyone starts talking about "8-bit era translation" or "horrible midi music" they get vigorously ignored.

But a FF7 remake is pretty much inevitable IMO.  After remaking/re-releasing FF's 1-6 and Tactics (multiple times in some cases!) Squeenix has made it clear remakes are big business for them, and Sony must be begging them right now for a second coming of their biggest ever game in the hope it might salvage the PS3.

August 4, 2008 6:00 PM

Kevin said:

The best possible remake of Final Fantasy VII would be a 5-DVD choose-your-own-adventure interactive movie with the same production value as Advent Children. Even if the gameplay and graphicks of the original aged poorly, FFVII's story is nigh unfuckwithable, and that's all I'd be coming back for.

Also: When they going to make some fucking MATERIA KEYCHAINS already? You listening, S/E?

August 4, 2008 7:14 PM

therobotchoir said:

FF7, nah. It was fun but I think I am happy with what we got. Not a truly epic game like FF6 THAT would be something. I would love a FF13 quality remake of ff6. Not the DS style I mean all the bells and whistles.

Chrono Trigger would be another that would be awesome as a full-fledged remake. Maybe throw in a few new endings and a new time-period/character and some side quests (wishful thinking... okay maybe no new character it really does not need one. LOL maybe Serge as a super secret character a-la Bleu from Breath of Fire 2, just in reverse.)

August 26, 2008 1:50 AM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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