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61 Frames Per Second

Sonic's Lost Innocence...Sort Of.

Posted by Nadia Oxford

 
I'm not exaggerating when I say that 2006's Sonic the Hedgehog for the Xbox 360 remains one of the worst titles on the console. The game's release was a bad time for the Xbox 360, for Sega, Sonic and the idiots who believed in him (myself).

The controls for the game are inexcusably atrocious, but it's not much of a loss anyway since the gameplay is as stale as last December's bread. More, people get squicked when they think of the implied romance between Sonic and Elise, a human princess who's literally pregnant with Mary Sue attributes. Doubtlessly the internet's automatic disdain for the furry culture has worn away at our tolerance, but even I have to say "Ewww." I do not envy the woman who has to give birth to spiky hedgehog-hybrids.

As it happens, I can't fault Sonic Team for giving Sonic a human love interest. As it happens, he was always destined to make it with a homo sapiens. Just...not an underage one.

The early concepts for Sonic are always a gas to look back on, though, perhaps, a sad gas (huh?). The Sonic we know today sweats failure the faster he runs, but at his earliest incarnation, he was pretty sassy and adorable. His girlfriend, "Madonna," had no qualms about sticking her bum way up in the air. Sonic my friend, you were denied good times and I advise you to put on your stompin' shoes and bloody well do something about it.

Sonic's early art also reveals an early concept for Robotnik/Eggman, dressed in the colours of a bumblebee. That man was truly ahead of his time.

Related Links:

Sonic the Hedgehog, I'm Just Not That Into You
Trailer Review: Sonic Unleashed
Me VS Blue Hedgehog


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Demaar said:

One of the worst? If you don't count XBLA or shovelware, it's THE worst. Actually, scratch that, you can include the shovelware. It's a buggy piece of slow loading arse designed to appeal ONLY to furries.

I own every Sonic game EXCEPT it.

October 9, 2008 9:44 AM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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