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It's Official (And Officially Sad): Castlevania Judgement Is Ghoulis

Posted by Nadia Oxford

I guess some tiny corner of my heart was holding on to the hope that Castlevania Judgment might be worth playing--or, at the very least, not in need of a holy water/acid bath. Alas...

"So what, exactly, doesn’t work? Like I said, everything. It’s like a daisy-chain of failures. Let’s kick things off with the arena. The arena doesn’t work. It’s too large. So instead of fighting for 90 seconds, you end up chasing each other around for 90 seconds. Which is bad enough, but then, the camera doesn’t work. Because it’s fixed, one player will often end up running at the camera, losing all sight of where it is they’re going."


You know what, this might work out after all. I've always had this fantasy about staging a Castlevania-style Benny Hill chase. See, Maria will run around the arena and Richter will chase her. Simon will chase them both and Death will chase after them all--

Then the camera will drift off and I'll promptly forget what I'm supposed to be laughing at.

Really, this news heartily sucks. I know nobody expected grand things from Castlevania Judgment; from the very start we treated it like the fat kid in gym class; maybe it wasn't our first choice this holiday season, but deep in our souls we hoped it would surprise us with some hidden potential.

A Castlevania fighting game does have the potential to be fun. One of Castlevania Judgment's primary strengths is its enormous roster of Belmonts and Belmont offshoots, each one raring to prove themselves more worthy of their leather, lace and whips than the previous generation. Sadly, a game can have a cast of millions for all the good it will do if it's simply not fun to play. There's also the small issue of Castlevania Judgment's character designs being appalling. Nothing against Death Note or Takeshi Obata's art; I enjoy both. It's just that I want to play as Simon Belmont and not Simon Belmont dressed up as a Light cosplayer. Seriously, just look at Simon--is that Simon?--on that cover art. "Do you know that Shinigami love wall meat, L?"

I won't even address what Kotaku says about Castlevania Judgment's gameplay because it's a no-brainer. Executing special moves solely by waving the Wii remote like some posessed voodoo priest? Bravo, Konami. Definitely good incentive to spend hours with the game, honing my skills.

Well, it's not like we don't have other upcoming Castlevania delights to make up for this...misstep.

Related Links:

Watcha Playing: Castlevania Portrait of Ruin
When Good Developers Go Bad: Koji Igarashi
Castlevania Fighting Game Elicits Anguished Moans From the Living

+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Nemo Incognito said:

That's a shame.  I thought the trailer was really impressive.

Oh well, at least the OST will be a must-buy.

October 15, 2008 6:07 PM

Nadia Oxford said:

That is true! No great loss without a small gain, etc.

October 15, 2008 6:11 PM

Roto13 said:

Meh, I wouldn't put much stock in anything Kotaku has to say as far as opinions are concerned.

October 15, 2008 6:17 PM

Nadia Oxford said:

I'm willing to believe criticisms like "the camera is broken and rarely focuses on the player" and "special moves take off 1/3 of the health bar" regardless of the source.

October 15, 2008 6:39 PM

John Constantine said:

October 15, 2008 6:51 PM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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