I guess some tiny corner of my heart was holding on to the hope that Castlevania Judgment might be worth playing--or, at the very least, not in need of a holy water/acid bath. Alas...
"So what, exactly, doesn’t work? Like I said, everything. It’s like a daisy-chain of failures. Let’s kick things off with the arena. The arena doesn’t work. It’s too large. So instead of fighting for 90 seconds, you end up chasing each other around for 90 seconds. Which is bad enough, but then, the camera doesn’t work. Because it’s fixed, one player will often end up running at the camera, losing all sight of where it is they’re going."
You know what, this might work out after all. I've always had this fantasy about staging a Castlevania-style Benny Hill chase. See, Maria will run around the arena and Richter will chase her. Simon will chase them both and Death will chase after them all--
Then the camera will drift off and I'll promptly forget what I'm supposed to be laughing at.
Really, this news heartily sucks. I know nobody expected grand things from Castlevania Judgment; from the very start we treated it like the fat kid in gym class; maybe it wasn't our first choice this holiday season, but deep in our souls we hoped it would surprise us with some hidden potential.
A Castlevania fighting game does have the potential to be fun. One of Castlevania Judgment's primary strengths is its enormous roster of Belmonts and Belmont offshoots, each one raring to prove themselves more worthy of their leather, lace and whips than the previous generation. Sadly, a game can have a cast of millions for all the good it will do if it's simply not fun to play. There's also the small issue of Castlevania Judgment's character designs being appalling. Nothing against Death Note or Takeshi Obata's art; I enjoy both. It's just that I want to play as Simon Belmont and not Simon Belmont dressed up as a Light cosplayer. Seriously, just look at Simon--is that Simon?--on that cover art. "Do you know that Shinigami love wall meat, L?"
I won't even address what Kotaku says about Castlevania Judgment's gameplay because it's a no-brainer. Executing special moves solely by waving the Wii remote like some posessed voodoo priest? Bravo, Konami. Definitely good incentive to spend hours with the game, honing my skills.
Well, it's not like we don't have other upcoming Castlevania delights to make up for this...misstep.
Related Links:
Watcha Playing: Castlevania Portrait of Ruin
When Good Developers Go Bad: Koji Igarashi
Castlevania Fighting Game Elicits Anguished Moans From the Living