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WTFriday: "This Place Is All About Your Balls."

Posted by Bob Mackey

Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.

Since the 61FPS crew got last Friday off to make mashed potato snow angels, I've had to sit on today's topic for well over a week--which is a shame, since the world needs to be aware of it as soon as possible. The "it" in question is D-Dub Software's BoneTown, which its Albuquerque-based developers are calling "the world's first action adventure porno video game."  Really, BoneTown shouldn't be any more embarrassing than your average pornographic video game, yet it somehow is.  I'll see if you can figure out why.

Obviously, the video below is not safe for work or family. Don't watch it even if you live in the same town as your parents. You have been warned:



I don't know if I can think of anything less sexy than racist characters from the Hot Shots Golf series getting it on with each other. Wait--actually, I can, but no one in their right mind would make a video game out of it. This is why I have decided to contact D-Dub Software with my wonderful idea. Please look forward to next holiday season's Grandma on Ape Bikini Scatplay 2010. It'll be sure to end Western Civilization as we know it! But, in the meantime, BoneTown is a good start.

Related Links:

WTFriday: Mario Versus Air Man
WTFriday: Atlus Takes on Third Wave Feminism
WTFriday: The Star Fox 64 Promo Video


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Roto13 said:

Those women look like they might snap in 2 if they have to pick up a bag of potatoes or something.

Apparently they made one chest hair for Ron Jeremy and then copied and pasted it randomly.

December 5, 2008 10:16 PM

About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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