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One Girl's Ancient Struggle Against Bad Games

Posted by Nadia Oxford

It's pretty cool these days for girls to stand up and say, “I'm a gamer!” Bonus admiration is issued if they do it with only half their clothes on, but male gamers are usually just happy to know we walk amongst their ranks. Game companies are definitely happy about us, because we spend money on everything from puppy sims to big games with big guns.

I'll let you in on a little secret. Girls have always liked games. What's different is that developers, game publications and marketing divisions are making an effort to let us know what's going on in the industry. Young females are being encouraged to try a little bit of everything and settle down into something they love, whether it's ponies or blowing someone's brains onto the ceiling. I'm glad, because I remember how awkward it was to be a girl gamer during those crucial years when I cared about what other people thought of me.

Mackey's retrospective on Bart vs The Space Mutants for the NES is what started me thinking back to those uncomfortable days when I wasn't just a girl gamer, but a “weird” one at that. My circle of friends was primarily made up of females in spite of my tomboyish ways, and I was invited to my fair share of girl-populated birthday parties. Most of these party houses had an NES, and even though games were almost strictly thought of as boy's stuff back in the olden days, the system never went ignored. We played plenty of games.

The problem? The games were all of the sucky, licensed variety--Bart vs The Space Mutants being a prime example of a wasted video game rental at an all-girl party. Not just once, either. No, you could count on a shitty licensed game like Home Alone to make a repeat appearance at parties as a five-dollar rental. We were often completely baffled by the vague goals and awful controls these games offered, but few of my friends wanted to move beyond the comfort of a familiar name. Sometimes they'd pick at a Mario title for a little while, thank God, but I was usually doomed to watch my friends struggle with an unplayable game for hours. My suggestions for games were usually shot down; even if the hostesses' brother had amassed an impressive collection of games, there was no question about exchanging Macaulay Culkin's unwinnable wank festival for something more solid, like Mega Man or Cobra Triangle.

Few of my girl friends played Nintendo, and it's no wonder. Nobody felt compelled to research what was out there with commercials being primarily boy-oriented, and when they did play, they were let down by shoddy licensed trash. They probably decided games weren't worth their time outside of a party environment, and with good reason. I was teased for being game-crazy and for reading Nintendo Power, but obviously, I'm glad I stuck to my guns. Girls, cave in to drugs and booze if you must, but Just Say No to bad games. You can do so much better.

(Disclaimer: please don't cave in to drugs and booze.)

Related Links:

Up All Night: Ex-Mutants
Indiana Jones, We Hardly Know Ye
Trailer Review: Scribblenauts


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Comments

AbsolutelyNot said:

"Bonus admiration is issued if they do it with only half their clothes on,..."

What.

April 23, 2009 4:38 AM

Nadia Oxford said:

Sarcasm. Obviously not true. ;)

April 23, 2009 10:15 AM

Jen Ho said:

"My circle of friends was primarily made up of females in spite of my tomboyish ways, and I was invited to my fair share of girl-populated birthday parties. Most of these party houses had an NES, [...] the system never went ignored."

Yeah, that was my childhood too. It's kind of why I roll my eyes whenever guys tell me they're so surprised to find a girl who plays games. We did, and do. I'm glad that mentality is sort of going away!

April 24, 2009 10:50 AM

John H. said:

What you're referring to is the unfortunate intersection of:

1. the suckiness of 95% of licensed games

2. the parents' profound ignorance of those games

3. parental confusion as to what girls "want" in games

Points 1 and 2, mind you, stung boys pretty often too.  There was an astonishing number of awful NES games, many of them made by American companies that should have known better.  Japanese Famicom developers treated the game consoles as a first-class platform; American ones almost universally as an avenue for cash-in ports and licenses.  

This attitude was, and continues to be, responsible for the current Japanese reputation for being the video game world leaders.

May 13, 2009 2:11 PM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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