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FMV Hell: Zombie Dinos From Planet Zeltoid

I really enjoy the art of the “Let's Play,” a practise that involves one gamer chronicling and/or recording his or her journey through a game while other gamers look on. It's a very friendly, social pastime that does a lot to ease your aching faith in the gaming community after spending five minutes with any Xbox 360 multiplayer experience.

Gamespite's forums house some particularly wonderful Let's Plays. I've sifted through some adventures I could never hope to experience otherwise. Forum member innerlogic has been slaving through some pretty rancid CD-i experiences for our amusement.

People talk about the sacrifice Jesus made for humankind, but man. It's like the CD-i was the best joke ever told, but nobody was around to hear it. If only I had known about Zombie Dinos From Planet Zeltoid, the specimen for today's FMV Hell. So many dark moments have passed in my life where I could have looked back on this and thought, “At least I didn't make Zombie Dinos from Planet Zeltoid. I am not irredeemable.”

The Aberration of Sonic

Yesterday, Derrick brought us The Joy of Sonic as assembled by Docfuture, the Internet's premiere professional Let's Play putter-togehter. Docfuture's playthrough of the original Sonic the Hedgehog is a relaxing video that comforts us like a blanket on a rainy day. Through Doc's mellow voice, we are assured all of us, even the furious Sonic, needs to take it easy sometimes. At the same time, it's good to feel strong sometimes. On occassion, we must gain invincibility, don a blaze of sparkles and plow through the things in our life that pee streams of negative energy in our pomegranate smoothies.

Feeling relaxed and empowered? Then you're ready to travel through Docfuture's follow-up project: Let's Play Sonic 2: Special Edition.

Sonic 2: Special Edition is a barely known (and, as some portions of this Let's Play will indicate, barely finished) 32X/Sega CD re-creation of the Genesis' beloved Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Few mortals have seen it, but we are blessed because Docfuture's father nabbed the prototype when he worked at Nintendo. The game did make an appearance on an episode Nick Arcade, where a little pigtailed girl lost the challenge to beat Robotnik within thirty seconds accompanied by Dragonforce music that wouldn't come into existence for something like another six years.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.

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