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Whatcha Playing: Keeping the Beat, Drum Master Style

Posted by John Constantine



Written by Derrick Sanskrit

This hip urban lifestyle is killing me. Even though I walk a couple miles each day going to and from various places, I spend at least three hours a day sitting in place on trains as they scuttle my person between points A and R. Three hours! I'd probably go crazy or fall asleep and get mugged if it weren't for portable games. The problem is carrying games that can hold my interest for an extended period of time. Almost all of the most compelling DS games have little to no replay value (the Ace Attorney series, Hotel Dusk: Room 215) and many of the other better games require such precise stylus control that a simple jostle of the train car can ruin the entire experience (Elite Beat Agents, Zelda: Phantom Hourglass). What am I supposed to play?

Thanks to importers and the region-free DS, I have found my answer: Taiko no Tatsujin DS: Touch de Dokodon!, aka "Taiko Drum Master DS". It keeps all the familiar elements of the popular arcade and home console Taiko Drum Master games (J-pop and classical songs play, cute cartoon characters dance, you beat the shit out of a big-ass drum) and makes it portable. Is there a story? Damned if I know, I just know that I get a more visceral thrill out of pounding a cartoon drum than I do shooting an AK-47 at Nazis.

If I'm waiting at the station, it's fun to rest the DS in my lap and pull out the twin styli (included with the game) to tap out beats on the touch screen. When the train's in motion and I'm shoulder-to-shoulder with disgruntled strangers, I switch to the buttons (face buttons for the drum skin, shoulders for the drum edge). It takes some getting used to the two control schemes, but it’s still a very satisfying, if mindless, experience. For all I know, all these J-Pop songs could be about sodomy, but as long as I don't understand the words and I can dress my cartoon drum up as a punk rocker, circus clown, geisha, or Santa Claus, I'm going to keep my headphones on and a smile on my face, continuing to freak out the old lady in the opposite seat.


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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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