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61 Frames Per Second

The Monkey's Paw of Pre-Order Bonuses?

Posted by Bob Mackey

And now, a conversation between me and the Internet:

Internet: Hey, Bob; Chrono Trigger is coming out for the DS!

Bob: That's good.

Internet: But it's just a port with no major additions that will cost 40 dollars.

Bob: That's bad.

Internet: But you reserve it at GameStop, you get a free CD soundtrack!

Bob: That's good.

Internet: The bonus CD only has two songs.

Bob: Can I go now?

As much as I appreciate free shit--and we all love free shit--this CD isn't much of a pre-order incentive.  In fact, being the accomplished nerd that I am, I already have these two songs from older CD releases.  Game|Life reports that the two tracks are "Chrono Trigger, Orchestra Version" and "Chrono Trigger Medley Orchestra Version," which I'm almost positive are from the 2001 PSX re-release of the game and/or one of the Orchestral Game Concert CDs. Whatever the case (and at the risk of sounding ungrateful), TWO songs!? If Square-Enix ever checked out the pre-order goodies for something like Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin, they'd know how to throw together a great bonus soundtrack instead of "meh" incarnate.

Don't get me wrong--I appreciate the offer. But I think I'll stick to my MP3s.

Related Links:

The Chrono Trigger Port: Are You Excited or Disappointed?
The Five Greatest Enhanced Remakes - And Five That Weren't So Great, Part 1
Where is Yasunori Mitsuda?


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Alex said:

I know I'm a tool for pointing this out, but that was actually the Krusty Doll episode.

...I'm going to sit myself in the corner now.

October 1, 2008 1:34 AM

Bob Mackey said:

I combined two Simpsons references for one deadly dose of writing!

October 1, 2008 7:43 AM

Nadia said:

The CD also contains sodium benzoate.

October 1, 2008 10:12 AM

Nemo Incognito said:

A CD with only TWO tracks?  This might actually beat the Final Fantasy Anthology extra disc as the worst bonus music CD ever.

October 1, 2008 1:21 PM

Bob Mackey said:

Yeah, they could have at least thrown The Brink of Time or something else on there as a nice surprise.  

I forgot to add that this isn't the first time Square has done something like this; back in 2000, they offered a promo CD for Chrono Cross through EB with only 3 tracks.  But back then the novelty was enough to excuse this meager offering.

October 1, 2008 2:03 PM

About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

If unsatisfied, please return unused portion for partial refund.

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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