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61 Frames Per Second

Mega Man is a Dick

Posted by Nadia Oxford

From the good human being who brought us "BISOOOOON!" comes a video of Mega proportions: Mega Man 10: WTF?

"WTF" is all you need to describe the Ruby-Spears Mega Man cartoon that aired in the early '90s. No other cartoon licensed by Capcom or otherwise varied so wildly in quality. Yes, I am counting Street Fighter and Dark Stalkers. Neither of those had the dizzying high of Mega X (in which Mega Man X chases Vile and Spark Mandrill to the past and blasts the holy shit out of everything around him in spite of being a pacifist in the games) or the bowel-dropping low of Curse of the Lion Men (which simply has to be seen to be believed).

Nevertheless, I followed the cartoon. I didn't often like what I saw, but "Day of Sigma" was still more than ten years over the horizon so I had to make do somehow. I would just kind of let my brain glaze over and jerk reflexively whenever I heard "Sizzling circuits!"

But I never realised until seeing this video that Mega Man was an out-and-out dick to Roll so often. Poor Roll just wants to tag along with her brother on his missions to stop Doctor Vily, and he basically tells her to stay at home and make robo-babies. At one point, he bars her enthusiasm with a broom. A broom. That's cold, Mega Man.

Worse is Doctor Light's reaction to Mega Man's sexism: "Uh huh. He's right." Well, what can you expect from the man who invented robots and brought misery to mankind.

Related Links:

Sonic is for Porn
16 Bit Morals: Sonic Warns You About Uncle Ernie
Quickies: Homestar Runner


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Alex said:

Why the heck are Cut Man and Guts Man in every episode? Who decided they were the coolest robot masters? Guts Man is dumb as a rock, and Cut Man sounds like an awful impression of Peter Lorre.

October 7, 2008 10:29 AM

Demaar said:

I liked this show probably more than I should have as a kid. Same with any game related cartoon in fact.

Makes me pine for a reasonably budgeted Mega Man anime...

October 7, 2008 10:30 AM

Roto13 said:

"I feel all mushy and tingly inside."

That was amazing.

So many old cartoons think the best way to solve any problem with a computer is to smash it. Or poke random keys with your index fingers until it explodes.

October 7, 2008 11:29 AM

Zaphy said:

I always liked how Roll's weapons were usually things improvised in the OVEN THAT WAS IN HER ARM

Oh Doctor Light, you and your domestic bliss.

October 7, 2008 6:28 PM

Alex said:

I can't believe I missed this the first time-- at 3:35, is Roll NOT calling Dr. Wily "Dr. Dickhead?"

October 8, 2008 12:46 PM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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