Register Now!

61 Frames Per Second

Sonic is for Porn

Posted by Nadia Oxford

Dic's Saturday morning Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon--often referred to by its (very dedicated) fanbase as "SatAM"--remains an example of one of video gamedom's higher quality cartoon adaptations. The intro lives on in the hearts of our inner children. When we hear it, we recall our bowls of Trix and waking up before everyone else and oh my God, I can't even concieve of not sleeping in on a Saturday morning. Not even for Sonic.

Most of us have grown up and become stale adults with worries about bills and running out of Dulcolax. Our tastes have changed as well; now instead of laughing along with Sesame Street, we laugh along with Avenue Q (maybe).

Ah, but perverts may yet rejoice for this opportunity to recapture and distort their childhood. A thoughtful Sonic fan crossed Avenue Q's "The Internet is For Porn" with the animated cast of Sonic the Hedgehog. (Mildly NSFW.) Of course, every genius with free, spyware-laden editing software has crossed Avenue Q with every franchise ever (including your mom. Oh!--Zing!), but there's something very special about the obese Dr Robotnik bellowing "For porn!" Unfortunately, the image of Robotnik surfing the Internet for delights now hovers in my brain like a spectre.

Someone get me a funnel and some lighter fluid.

Related Links:

FMV Hell: Sonic CD
Alternate Soundtrack: Sonic the Hedgehog vs Ratatat
Do You Hold Any Hope For Sonic Unleashed?


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Roto13 said:

Rotor. <3 Isn't Dulcy the dragon female?

The related videos are mostly from the other shows. Apparently Sonic only has one decent cartoon in him. Which is actually probably better than most games.

August 18, 2008 6:02 PM

Nadia Oxford said:

Sonic Underground has a special place in the bit of my heart that burns merry hell. The show was a huge hit on Teletoon for some reason (Canada's version of Cartoon Network), as was Cybersix (which tanked in the US because of bad scheduling and half-assed censorship).

I was part of the Cybersix fandom and we used to clash constantly with the Sonic Underground fandom. Teletoon ran a poll that allowed voters to choose between a Sonic Underground or Cybersix marathon. The war was on. Someone in the Sonic Underground community hacked the poll to give SU a few million votes, which I'm pretty sure exceeded Teletoon's customer base. Good times.

You're right, Dulcy's female. Maybe she's extra-randy. Dragons are excitable creatures.

August 18, 2008 6:22 PM

Roto13 said:

Who the hell would like Sonic Underground? It had absolutely nothing to do with Sonic. They just came up with a crappy idea for a cartoon and thought "Alright, how can we make kids want to watch it? Let's put Sonic the Hedgehog in it."

(Also, go Canada!)

August 18, 2008 7:57 PM

John Constantine said:

Sonic Underground was part of the nefarious branding scheme known internally at Sega of America as "The Shitty Friends Initiative". The cartoon's launch coinciding with the release of Sonic Adventure was phase one.

Also: Canada rules for no other reason than keeping Reboot alive.

August 19, 2008 1:46 PM

Demaar said:

Oh wow, I'd never heard of Avenue Q before, I may have to, I dunno, find a video or something? How the hell do you access a musical via the internet? lol

August 20, 2008 2:22 AM

in

Archives

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


Send tips to


Tags

VIDEO GAMES


partners