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61 Frames Per Second

1UP's Top Ten Videogame Politicians

Posted by Bob Mackey

In an idea I wish I would've thought up(seriously), 1UP scribe Scott Sharkey has picked out ten popular video game politicians and placed them in an order which may signify their importance.  I thought the entry on Final Fight's Mike Haggar was especially telling:

The spitting image of future Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura, Mike Haggar was the original trailblazer of former pro-wrestling politicians, beating "The Body" to the punch by nearly a decade. His "personally pound the crap out of everyone" platform has sadly failed to enter the realm of life imitating art.

As is the case with most political Internet articles that allow comments, some of the best material can be found in the venomous responses filled with inappropriate rage--no offense to Sharkey, of course. Take this comment from a fellow named IronTigerMonkey; I'm not sure if he's being satirical, but you shouldn't really count anything out in these scary days of Web 2.0:

... If I am to understand the structure of a top ten list, you guys are basicly saying that you would rather Saddam Hussien (albeit video game version) to be the next president then Abraham Lincoln. Either that or you shouldn't use a headline that makes it sound like top ten worst vid politicians. Way to screw up everything 1up you suck gecko dick diped in coconut sauce. It is people like you 1up that are be puting George Bush in power, quit promoting your hidden adgendas with misleading top ten lists!!!!!

To all of you faithful commenters on 61 FPS: I love you. Really.

Related Links:

Alternate Soundtrack: Mighty Final Fight vs. Radio 4

Kenji Eno Is a Mule of Epic Proportions
Election Day Gaming


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Roto13 said:

Yup. It's a double edged sword. Lots of comments mean lots of traffic, but also lots of... that.

November 4, 2008 2:52 PM

Luke said:

That really is such a "GodDAMN I should have thought of doing that list."  Which just translates as complimenting Mr Sharkey, as he deserves.

Bonus: IronTigerMonkey confirms both that "Wacky name!" = asshole, and that any comment with an ellipsis in the title isn't worth reading.

November 4, 2008 3:57 PM

Roto13 said:

I put meaningless crap in comment titles on 1up because I think forcing comment titles is stupid.

November 4, 2008 4:25 PM

Demaar said:

lol I really do think (and hope) that comment was intended as a joke or at least a troll post.

November 4, 2008 9:54 PM

About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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