Lucasarts recently opened its mouth and spilled its guts on Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings for the Wii, the Playstation 2 and the current family of handheld systems. I feel like I'm in a brave new world: my brain's having a hard time remembering when Indiana Jones games didn't feature a squat, plastic yellow protagonist with pincer-hands and a primitive drawn-on smile.
Not to say we're not old enough to remember such a time. Sigh.
The Wii version of the game will (of course) feature waggle. The press release plays the gimmick up in the obvious manner: “Wield your Wii Remote™ like Indy's signature whip for a variety of uses — from combat to navigation to puzzle-solving.”
Oh boy. I'll leave the light on for you, tendinitis.
Castlevania's current caretaker, Koji Igarashi, once mentioned that producing a whip-heavy Castlevania game would be difficult for the Wii. Everyone would immediately expect to use the Wii remote like a whip, and while that would indeed be fun at first, there might be a small danger of fatigue by the time the zombie body count reaches one thousand.
“You're right, Igarashi,” I said after he stated his case. “You always are.” Igarashi nodded sagely and went back to the Chamber of Farts and Screams, where Castlevania Judgement was being produced at the time.
It's not to say Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings will be an awful game—it's Indiana Jones, for crying in the beer. Turning out a boring Indiana Jones game should be impossible, like failing with a Yo-Yo Ball. Alas, it's not. It might be best to opt for the Playstation 2 title instead of wrapping up your wrist with an Icy Hot patch every night. There is a proper way to incorporate Wii waggle (Super Mario Galaxy, Wii Sports, Twilight Princess) and an improper way (nearly everything else). I'm happy to forgo waggle Until the introduction and perfection of Wii Motion Plus.
When I was a kid and the NES hit its stride, news reports used to talk about “Nintendo wrist”, the early onset of arthritis that came with holding a Nintendo controller all day. I can only imagine what kind of scare reports the news cooks up today. Wii wrist? Wii-induced amputation? I played Star Wars the Clone Wars: Lightsaber Duels for twenty minutes and I felt like all my bone marrow was going to fly out my pores. Maybe kids are just hardier than I am.
By the way, here's a Staff of Kings trailer for your perusal.
Related Links:
Indiana Jones, We Hardly Knew Ye
Where Is the New Indiana Jones?
Fortune and Glory, SNES Style