Mere days remain until Street Fighter IV steals up and punches us in the backs of our heads. The online game community is quivering and stamping in anticipation, more or less the kind of behaviour that's acceptable amongst bucks in rut and restless Street Fighter fans.
I love the days that lead up to a big release, because all sorts of fun features and articles are published to fuel hype (and boost traffic, hey, it's not a sin). 1UP is celebrating Street Fighter IV's impending ascent to King of the Universe with The Greatest Scenes of Street Fighter: The Movie.
Of course, you already know the Street Fighter movie is horrible. You're just that hip and clever, right? Scott Sharkey's feature is still well worth a look, thanks to embedded video clips of the offending scenes. I've read more “Eww, gross” pieces about the Street Fighter movie than any sort of religious text, but this video-heavy take puts things in a new perspective for me. Namely, what was director Steven de Souza trying to do with this thing?
The Street Fighter movie isn't quite comedy, though God knows it's hilarious at points—intentionally and unintentionally. It's not exciting enough to be an action film, and it's certainly not a martial arts flick. It's some bastard swamp child, doomed to drift without a name or an identity or a loving touch. It's almost a shame because the film had the good sense not to take itself very seriously some of the time. Key problem: some of the time.
I almost want to say that legendary actor Raul Julia enjoyed the role of Bison, but he's an actor; he's paid to smile through the pain, and the poor guy was probably in a lot of pain by that stage in his life. In fact, Bison, Zangief, and Balrog are worth watching the movie for. The three play off each other like some kind of dystopian Three Stooges routine, and it's entertaining enough to watch (“I'm not getting paid enough for this.” “You're getting paid?”). Not that I would have wanted to dish out the full theatre price, but really, when you're directing a movie about a psychotic Dictator who wears puffy pants, there are only so many places you can take it, and all those places eventually spiral into Batshit Berg.
Shadaloo Silly Hour is contrasted very sharply against the struggles of Guile and the Allied Nations as they try to stop the realisation of Bison's “Bisonopolis” (City Hall is adorably shaped like a skull and wings). Guile is supposed to be an all-American badass. We're not supposed to laugh at him, but how else are we supposed to react to a heavily-accented, slurred declaration from Van Damme? Soldiers don't follow superiors who resolve to “keek that sunofabeesh Bison's ass SO HOIRD, dat dah next Bison wannabe is gonna feel et.” Van Damme (probably) wasn't drunk, but the whole scene reeks of alcohol fumes.
The Mortal Kombat movie was smart enough to stick to self-parody all the way through. I really wonder if the Street Fighter movie would have been more tolerable if it had skipped the Freedom: Serious Business schtick. Maybe de Souza could have taken that over the top as well, with Guile flinging Crying Eagle 9/11 collector's plates instead of Sonic Booms.
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