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• Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li Scores 0% At Rotten Tomatoes

  It's a rare example of the human race coming together, joining hands, and speaking in one clear voice: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li is deplorable. This isn't an instance of disgusted high-profile critics turning their heads and waving their hankies at the screen, either. In fact, the RottenTomatoes profile for Legend of Chun-Li is more or less devoid of many big names, as the film didn't offer a screening for critics. These are Street Fighter fans who are scraping dirt over the movie with the side of their shoe. These are people who saw 1994's silver screen attempt at Street Fighter and vastly prefer Jean-Claude Van Damme and his “powder blue beret.” Ouch, ouch, ouch. Goes to show there's no such thing as rock bottom; there's always one level underneath. For instance, Hell. Here's a small sampling of what critics are saying about Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. Contains 3000% of the recommended daily intake of regret, remorse, and regurgitation. Read More... Posted Feb 27 2009, 08:30 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: street fighter, game movies, fan stuff, nadia oxford, the legend of chun-li

• Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li Is Not For Critics

  There's a famous Penny Arcade strip—the very same strip that first introduces the quaint and chaotic cartoon duo Catsby and Twisp—that begins with Tycho making some remark about how Kevin Smith had decided that his film “Jersey Girls” was “not for critics.” Gabe responds, “Wow, I didn't know you could even do that.” Seems you can. The latest film to shut out critics is “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.” That is to say, there won't be an exclusive screening for Ebert and his kin. If they want to review Chun-Li's searing soul-search, they'll have to get in line for tickets and popcorn with the rest of us mortal slobs. Chances are they won't. But hey, no reviews mean that we'll go into the film with clear heads, right? Yes and no. “The Cutscene,” a Variety blog, confirms what even the most optimistic Chun-Li fans know deep in their hearts: [I]n 95% of cases, not screening a movie is the studio's way of admitting critics are sure to hate it -- usually because it's bad, occassionally because it's a genre, like horror, that critics rarely appreciate. Read More... Posted Feb 20 2009, 12:23 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with no comments Filed under: street fighter, resident evil, penny arcade, game movies, nadia oxford, resident evil degeneration, the legend of chun-li

• Where, Specifically, Did The Street Fighter Movie Go Wrong?

  Mere days remain until Street Fighter IV steals up and punches us in the backs of our heads. The online game community is quivering and stamping in anticipation, more or less the kind of behaviour that's acceptable amongst bucks in rut and restless Street Fighter fans. I love the days that lead up to a big release, because all sorts of fun features and articles are published to fuel hype (and boost traffic, hey, it's not a sin). 1UP is celebrating Street Fighter IV's impending ascent to King of the Universe with The Greatest Scenes of Street Fighter: The Movie. Of course, you already know the Street Fighter movie is horrible. You're just that hip and clever, right? Scott Sharkey's feature is still well worth a look, thanks to embedded video clips of the offending scenes. I've read more “Eww, gross” pieces about the Street Fighter movie than any sort of religious text, but this video-heavy take puts things in a new perspective for me. Namely, what was director Steven de Souza trying to do with this thing? The Street Fighter movie isn't quite comedy, though God knows it's hilarious at points—intentionally and unintentionally. It's not exciting enough to be an action film, and it's certainly not a martial arts flick. It's some bastard swamp child, doomed to drift without a name or an identity or a loving touch. It's almost a shame because the film had the good sense not to take itself very seriously some of the time. Key problem: some of the time. Read More... Posted Feb 09 2009, 08:46 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: mortal kombat, street fighter iv, game movies, nadia oxford, street fighter the movie

• Games to Movies: Why Is It So Gad-Danged Hard?

  Pardon me, but might I bother you to turn your head while I spew vulgarities? The live-action Castlevania movie by Paul W.S. Anderson is going to be as stinking and putrid as a zombie's testicles. Yeah, as rotten as zombie testicles stewing like dumplings in a pool of sweat collected in the crotch of a pair of leather pants. And...the testicles are dangling. By, like, one scrap of skin. One scrap of maggot-chewed skin. We're used to this, right? It's the curse of video game-based movies to be absolutely no good. A friend of mine who's a huge Silent Hill fan convinced a non-gaming friend of mine to see the Silent Hill movie. Second friend saw the movie and still insists that first friend owes her eight bucks for making her see the stupidest film in the world. But it's not as if the Silent Hill series is incapable of keeping even hardcore horror fans up all night. Why do games translate so badly into movies? Is it because directors (we're not even counting Uwe Boll) have no qualms about taking creative liberties with the source material--the lack of a whip for Simon Belmont's film being a perfect example? That certainly can't be helping the problem. On the other hand, there are game-to-movie adaptations, mostly of Japanese origin, that are as easily recognisable as their inspirations...but they still suck. Read More... Posted Jul 18 2008, 06:10 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: silent hill, castlevania, crisis core, castlevania iii, the dark knight, advent children, james jean, bad movies, spirits paul ws anderson, game movies, within, final fantasy vii, warren ellis