Posted by Bob Mackey
Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.
We like to kid around a lot here at 61FPS, but there's nothing funny about crapping your pants. It's something we all try our best to avoid, if only because the social repercussions are so long-lasting; you may be able to clean a stain off of a pair of Levi's, but it's not so easy to launder a poo-stained reputation. This is why we should thank our lucky stars that training simulators like Kongregate.com's Don't Shit Your Pants exist; without it, you may find yourself in a situation where you have to crap but have no idea what to do next. The game gives you a brief 40 seconds (though you can extend this time if you're crafty) to figure out how to eliminate your waste in a socially-acceptable way through a retro text-based command system. But really, most of the fun of Don't Shit Your Pants lies in the many creative--and sometimes messy--solutions the game rewards you for with its built-in achievement system. Try and figure out how many ways there are to not shit your pants. You'll be glad you did.
Related Links:
WTFriday: GameStop's Guide to Women
WTFriday: Sega's Turd Polish
WTFriday: S****ing With Fear: Not Just a Symptom of Colon Cancer
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About Bob Mackey
For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's
Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.
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