Posted by Bob Mackey
In the many years since Sega's fall from grace, we've seen the company systematically destroy every franchise we've ever held dear for the sake of profit at any cost. Really, the only series that are safe at this point are the ones that are simply too unpopular to bother exploiting. Rest assured, fans of Panzer Dragoon and Jet Set Radio, you are safe. Though, at this point, it wouldn't be too crazy to see Sega sink their greedy talons into franchises that never really had a chance; I honestly wouldn't be shocked if the company announced a Burning Rangers sequel with random dungeons and a snowboarding mini-game.
Because of the company's desperate status, Sega's had a rather spotty record lately. But one game has seemingly restored some dignity to once-great company: Valkyria Chronicles. In a world of lousy, misguided Sonic the Hedgehog games, it was a breath of fresh air to see a Miyazaki-inspired tactical RPG that brought to mind Dreamcast classics like Skies of Arcadia. Sega's reaction to this newly-restored dignity? "Let's make swimsuit-clad capsule toy versions of these great new characters!" That sound you just heard was the whole world shaking its head in shame.
This isn't exactly the biggest deal in the world; these are capsule toys, after all, so it's not like Sega is making intricate, expensive, and doubly creepy PVC models of these half-naked gals. We'll have to wait another few months to see those. But it's still a little depressing to see Sega whore out this new game so quickly; I don't know about you, but these figures don't make me too optimistic for the quality of a Valkyria Chronicles sequel--if such a thing could ever exist. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what new, fantastic way Sega's going to bungle what could have been an awesome franchise.
Special thanks to Silicon Era (via a link from the GameSpite Twitter) for the news.
Related Links:
The Untold Story of Sega Killing Their Own Hardware Business
Sega "Gets" the Wii
On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009
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About Bob Mackey
For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's
Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.
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