Register Now!

Media

  • scannerscanner
  • scannerscreengrab
  • modern materialistthe modern
    materialist
  • video61 frames
    per second
  • videothe remote
    island
  • date machinedate
    machine

Photo

  • sliceslice with
    american
    suburb x
  • paper airplane crushpaper
    airplane crush
  • autumn blogautumn
  • chasechase
  • rose & oliverose & olive
Scanner
Your daily cup of WTF?
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Slice
Each month a new artist; each image a new angle. This month: American Suburb X.
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Autumn
A fashionable L.A. photo editor exploring all manner of hyper-sexual girls down south.
The Modern Materialist
Almost everything you want.
Paper Airplane Crush
A San Francisco photographer on the eternal search for the girls of summer.
Rose & Olive
Houston neighbors pull back the curtains and expose each other's lives.
chase
The creator of Supercult.com poses his pretty posse.
The Remote Island
Hooksexup's TV blog.
61 Frames Per Second
Smarter gaming.
Date Machine
Putting your baggage to good use.

61 Frames Per Second

Sega, Show Some Decency

Posted by Bob Mackey

In the many years since Sega's fall from grace, we've seen the company systematically destroy every franchise we've ever held dear for the sake of profit at any cost. Really, the only series that are safe at this point are the ones that are simply too unpopular to bother exploiting. Rest assured, fans of Panzer Dragoon and Jet Set Radio, you are safe. Though, at this point, it wouldn't be too crazy to see Sega sink their greedy talons into franchises that never really had a chance; I honestly wouldn't be shocked if the company announced a Burning Rangers sequel with random dungeons and a snowboarding mini-game.

Because of the company's desperate status, Sega's had a rather spotty record lately. But one game has seemingly restored some dignity to once-great company: Valkyria Chronicles. In a world of lousy, misguided Sonic the Hedgehog games, it was a breath of fresh air to see a Miyazaki-inspired tactical RPG that brought to mind Dreamcast classics like Skies of Arcadia. Sega's reaction to this newly-restored dignity? "Let's make swimsuit-clad capsule toy versions of these great new characters!" That sound you just heard was the whole world shaking its head in shame.

This isn't exactly the biggest deal in the world; these are capsule toys, after all, so it's not like Sega is making intricate, expensive, and doubly creepy PVC models of these half-naked gals. We'll have to wait another few months to see those. But it's still a little depressing to see Sega whore out this new game so quickly; I don't know about you, but these figures don't make me too optimistic for the quality of a Valkyria Chronicles sequel--if such a thing could ever exist. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what new, fantastic way Sega's going to bungle what could have been an awesome franchise.

Special thanks to Silicon Era (via a link from the GameSpite Twitter) for the news.

Related Links:

The Untold Story of Sega Killing Their Own Hardware Business
Sega "Gets" the Wii
On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Roto13 said:

Sticking every female character in a bikini is more of a Japan thing than a uniquely Sega thing.

March 18, 2009 2:05 PM

Joe Keiser said:

This is not a defense, but these swimsuits *are* (well, some of them, anyway) in the game. It is by far the most shameful scene in the game. It's out of context for the characters. It's out of context for the otherwise well-realized pseudo-WWII time period. It seemed like it existed purely so they could exploit it later. Mission accomplished!

March 18, 2009 2:22 PM

Nick Daniel said:

It's a Japanese game, to think that there wouldn't be swimsuit clad figurines of its female leads is pretty much akin to thinking that the latest issue of O magazine won't have Oprah on the cover.

March 18, 2009 10:01 PM

Bob Mackey said:

We should just be happy that there isn't a swimsuit issue of O Magazine.

March 19, 2009 2:03 PM

Nick Daniel said:

I bet in Japan it is.

March 20, 2009 2:00 AM

alexb said:

These appear to be based on the anime versions of the characters. Alicia's a fair bit better endowed in that little statuette than she is in the game.

March 20, 2009 2:30 PM

Leave a Comment

(required)  
(optional)
(required)  

Add

About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

If unsatisfied, please return unused portion for partial refund.

in

Archives

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


Send tips to


Tags

VIDEO GAMES


partners