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Watching Age of Conan Die

Some guy is getting a lot of attention on Reddit for a fascinating writeup on the dramatic rise and fall of Age of Conan, a surprisingly successful MMORPG whose popularity has waned nearly as quickly as it exploded last spring.

He argues that the first twenty levels, which take place in the bustling city of Tortage, are fully-fleshed, bursting with fascinating NPC's, fun quests, and breathtaking visual design. But then:

From here on out, most of your questing will involve going to the proper Place of Great Respawn and grinding mobs like you were filling up a resume to take some Chinese gold farmer’s job. The dust and dirt must be really hard on the lungs, too, since the vast majority of quest givers are mute. Voice acting, it seems, was too much a courtesy for Funcom to extend after the trial period.

Ouch. I met a guy who worked for Funcom during Age of Conan's development period at a pub. We became friends. He complained a lot for a guy who (to me) had one of the coolest jobs in the world. He also drank a lot.

Apparently, he wasn't the only disgruntled employee:

Sweaty, Oily Barbarian-Men Are Waiting For Your Purchase

Have you played World of Warcraft so ferociously that your hard drive is now naught but a glittering pile of toxic dust? Maybe you've been thinking about shifting gears a little by taking up the new Age of Conan MMORPG, Hyborian Adventures. Who'd want to strut around as a dinky elf when they could take up the sword of ancient barbarian heroes?

Don't bother, says Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee. Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures is apparently the same sword-swinging song we've heard so many times before: big burly warriors controlled by puppetmasters like Marvin of the Gold Claws, a fat boy in a basement with Doritos stains all over his fingers.

I'm especially amused by Yahtzee's observation about the personalities of the players around him: everyone wants to "cut your tits off" or act like you're going to do the same to them. Sometimes I think MMORPG players were picked on a lot at school and are pretending to project their revenge into the past with their well-armed (both above and below the belt) avatar.

Or...maybe they're not pretending at all.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.

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