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Resident Evil Arguments that Need to Die

Posted by Bob Mackey

With the recent release of the Resident Evil 5 demo, I've been subjected to something far more stomach-turning than hordes of the undead running amok in an African village. Of course, I speak of the Resident Evil fanboyism I assumed had ended long after the release of Resident Evil 4; you see, with the newest RE being made in the model of the series' previous game, purists are still upset that many of the things they've come to cherish about Resident Evil have been left to rot nearly 5 years ago. If you're a sane and functioning member of society, then you've probably realized that the Resident Evil 4 renovation was the best possible thing to happen to the series--and I commend you for your common sense. However, it's entirely possible that the drastic shift in the franchise still burns the living hell out of your beans; if this is the case, I bear you no personal grudge. I simply wish to ridicule your wrong opinions out of existence.

And now, friends, I present the Resident Evil arguments that need to die.

1. The game isn't even survival horror anymore.

This is correct. Resident Evil is now an action game--and it's so, so much better as a result. The series used to be about running past as many enemies as you could, while only taking out the few that were a serious threat--and the GameCube remake of the first RE even punished you for killing zombies by bringing them back to "life" in an even more ferocious form. Now, it's all about systematically clearing out areas full of ghouls, all while watching the ammo supply that the game gives you juuust enough of.  There's a slight loss in scariness--to the point where even a notable wuss like me can now play RE--but the sheer joy added to the experience far outweighs the amount of pants-wetting you could be doing.

2. What happened to my precious Resident Evil story!?

You might have noticed that Capcom nearly washed their hands of the whole Umbrella/Raccoon City arc after Code Veronica. This is because A.) the logistics of basic plot elements barely made sense on their own and B.) there's no way in hell you could tie the events of the first four games together without several plot holes the size of Alaska. If you don't believe me, consult the Let's Play series of Resident Evil walkthroughs and see how little the stories make sense when someone is actually analyzing them.

3. ARGH why can't I strafe!?

The unique stop-and-pop fighting system of Resident Evil 4 and onwards is one of the few holdovers from the game's survival horror roots, and it really creates a set of mechanics unlike any other. Instead of Z-targeting an enemy (used in every 3D game since Ocarina of Time) and quickly turning it into Swiss cheese, you're forced to find a safe place and slowly kill the hordes of zombies that are on your tail--and said zombies usually block any way out on their approach. You could argue that the inability to run-and-gun in RE is an artificial way to add difficulty, but I respect that fact that it doesn't play like most action games.

4. Th-th-th-these aren't even zombies!!!

No matter how many Max Brooks books you've read, and despite how elaborate your undead apocalypse plans may be, zombies are fictional. And--God willing--they will be forever. This means that the definition of "zombie" is entirely reliant on whoever's interpreting the concept. So long as you get a bunch of humans who attack in large mobs, revert to completely animalistic states, and eat living flesh, I'm going to say you've got some zombies on your hands. But if you want to argue zombie semantics, I'd wager there are many areas on the Internet where you can do this. Just please don't bring it here.

Related Links:

Resident Evil 5: Continuing on the Transformation Trail From Horror to Suspense
Games to Film to Games to Film: Resident Evil Degeneration
The Resident Evil 5 Demo is Now for Everybody


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Comments

Luke said:

5.  RACISM!

Only a recent addition, but a sterling example that you can only be racist if you simultaneously engage patriotism.

Call of Duty 4: Exterminating the Middle East: A-OK Hoo-Ha!

Resident Evil 4/5: Exterminating Spanish/African villagers: Apparently not ok.

People have to realise that zombification truly is colorblind, and until we can match it in equality we'll be at a real disadvantage when the flesh-eating starts.

February 2, 2009 11:03 PM

AlexB said:

I've never understood the Resident Evil snobbery, and I can't believe it's still around. When I saw the first few trailers for Resident Evil 4 (remember the "haunted house" one?) I was giddy.

Despite the series' flaws, from gameplay to story, the first few games do hold a special place in my virtual heart. I like them for the same unexplainable reason that I like adventure games. But if there was ever a series that needed a revamp at the time, it was Resident Evil.

Besides, why are the purists so angry? Resident Evil still has the wacky, stupid plots. Hell, they're even bringing back Wesker, whose accent changed AGAIN.

February 3, 2009 12:03 AM

John Constantine said:

Luke, not sure the racism issue should necessarily die, but it looks like Capcom took steps to ensure it did. Lotta different colors in the zombie rainbow of RE5 as it is now, then those early trailers.

How can purists possibly be angry? Resident Evil Degeneration is like a freaking love letter to RE purists. They get archaic looking CG and hardcore continuity stuff and then they get a game that further evolves the series' play. It's win win!

February 3, 2009 1:49 AM

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About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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