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Whatcha Playing: Guadia Quest

Posted by Nadia Oxford

“But Nadia! 'Guadia Quest' is just one part of the magnificent whole that is Retro Game Challenge!”

You're right, you little mathematician! But as fans of Retro Game Challenge are already well-aware, this DS title isn't merely a half-hearted mini game collection. That goes double for its RPG "parody."

Both my husband and I intended to play through Retro Game Challenge, but there is only one save file. We decided we'd split up the experience. I've been letting my husband to the lion's share of the work while I sit by and witness the outcome. I want to see what comes of Game Master Arino, the lonely Wizard of a digital Oz who went as far as to outfit himself with a paper crown from Burger King.

But I cannot chicken out by the sidelines for the entirety of the game. Someone needs to take up the sword and hack away at Guadia Quest. My husband doesn't know a hilt from a blade, whereas I was weaned on unicorn milk (and cocaine).

Guadia Quest is a loving tribute to the Dragon Quest days of olde...though drawing comparisons to Dragon Quest II might be more accurate, as both it and Guadia Quest are staffed by three warriors who are (kissin') cousins. To “complete” Guadia Quest and move on in Retro Game Challenge, you're required to grind to a certain level, collect a certain amount of money from dead monsters bodies, and slay a bad demon. I'm giddy over the whole experience; I feel like I'm ten again. Oh, for the days when I had to kill piles of slavering monsters just to turn their pockets inside-out for a few pennies.

Actually, I'm pretty okay with not having to to do that kind of thing anymore on a regular basis. Though it's kind of funny that I set aside Dragon Quest IV on the DS in order to play Guadia Quest. Is there a word in the dictionary for someone who defects from one nostalgic experience to another, deeper nostalgic experience?

Also, I named my warriors after swear words. Little Arino gave his opinion on the bottom half of the DS screen: “Oooooh! Interesting!”

Related Links:

Retro Game Challenge Is Out Today. You Will Buy It
The 61FPS Review: Retro Game Challenge
Old Man, Take a Look at My Life


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Ian said:

I'm doing the last challenge for this game right now.  I really like it....I hadn't expected an RPG this good.

February 26, 2009 11:32 PM

DAN! said:

regression: A psychotherapeutic method whereby healing is facilitated by inducing the patient to act out behaviour typical of an earlier developmental stage.

February 27, 2009 4:10 AM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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