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Metal Gear Solid 2: The Novel?

Posted by Bob Mackey

I have a bit of a soft spot for Metal Gear Solid 2; while it certainly has its share of embarrassing flaws, I'm probably one of a dozen people who were pleasantly surprised--instead of enraged--by the protagonist switch from Solid Snake to Raiden so early in the game. But even I have to admit that MGS2's story was mostly unintelligible by the end, though some of this may be due to the content cut from the game because of the September 11th terrorist attacks--or perhaps that mysterious shipment of mushrooms which arrived on the steps of Konami's HQ in early 2001.

Whatever the case, you have to give Kojima some credit for throwing so many baffling, off-the-wall ideas in what was intended to be the Playstation 2's first big blockbuster. And in case the director's unique storytelling style has still has you confused about what the hell happened in Metal Gear Solid 2 a whole eight years later, then you'll be happy to know that publisher Del Ray has a novelization of the game in the works, penned by Raymond Benson, who apparently wrote a novelization of the first Metal Gear Solid in 2008. Not exactly striking while the iron's hot, eh?

According to Game|Life's Earnest Cavalli, Benson is no slouch when it comes to video game novelizations--but I still have to question how this novel could be any more informative than the text dumps and game scripts for MGS2 that have been floating around on the internet for years and years. Though it's possible that Benson's novelization could be worth reading just to see how (or if) the author turns all of that batshit content into a cohesive narrative. My guess is this will be Benson's final project before the inevitable forced institutionalization.

This little bit of news has inspired me to show you a preview of my Metal Gear Solid 3 novelization, which I plan on submitting to Del Ray in 2012:

The Pain, covered in bees, shot a steady stream of bees at Snake, who was not covered in bees. The bees soon reached his bee-less body.

"Agh! Bees! Covered in bees!"

Snake dove underwater and decided to contact HQ for assistance. Perhaps a smoke grenade was in order?

If you would like Solid Snake to use a smoke grenade, turn to page 154.
If you would like to stop reading, close the book.


Related Links:

The 61FPS Review: Metal Gear Solid 4 Part 1
Metal Gear Solid: Hideo Kojima’s Inability to Show Instead of Tell
C'mon Kojima: Port Metal Gear!


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Comments

Russ said:

"Smoke grenade" yells Snake as he chucks the smoke grenade.

"Oh gosh, MY BEE'S!" yells the surprised Pain.

"Take this!" yells Snake as he shoot's him with his AK-47. "You'll never catch me underwater!" Snake dives under water and readies next smoke grenade.

Read the page over 3 times, and go to page 47.

April 17, 2009 6:35 PM

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About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

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Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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