This is part ll of the dick trilogy. Check out part l here or this will make even less sense than it should.

So, the dicks kept flying in until my box was full to capacity (thanks Finbar) What struck me most was not quantity, although it was abundant, but quality. There were some fine looking penii in the crowd: long straight and girthy (ooo, new word) and nary a deformed or diseased one amongst them. What of the man behind the dick photo was the thought that kept popping into my mind. A face and body to match these delicious dicks would be nothing to sneeze at. But, let's be real, Ron Jeremy's dick is about a hundred times better looking than his face and a million times better looking than his doughy old body.

And thus an email was sent.

I picked the best of the bunch and wrote to it's owner. "I am new to this and appreciate your email, but can't take this any further without seeing what the rest of you looks like. Please send more photos".

A day of suspense passed, whilst myriad new dicks came in, and then the reply. (I must confess that at this juncture, the quality had gone down just a tad. The smoothness had gone a bit veiny. The uniform color blotchy and, sorry to the owner, but one had a distinct listing to the left. The first hit of heroin is apparently the best and maybe this is the path of sex addicts trying to recapture that perfect first time. In any case, dicks had gone down. As it were)

But I digress... He wrote: "I don't usually do this, but since you've asked here are more pictures"

GahhahahahhhhhhhhH!!!!

The man was magnificent. A 6' hard body of rippling muscle. Whilst not stunning, his face was perfectly pleasant. He looked like he could fuck for America in the next Olympics.

Gaahahahhahaha again!

Because I had no intention of ever contacting him, whether he'd been gorgeous or sporting a face like a bag o' spanners. Not because I don't do hook ups due to some arbitrary standard of morality, but because I live with children and my libido has to take a backseat to parental responsibility. It was, as asked by "Pants" the other day, somewhat of an intellectual exercise. (I use "somewhat" as a disclaimer since the intellectual element is arguable)

He remained but a beautiful beast equipped with a tremendous tool and not a thing that I could do about it. Sigh.



And there you have it ladies and gents. Maybe it was a one off, but there are gorgeous men touting their wares on adultfriendfinder. My curiosity satisfied, I went about my usual life.

Weeks passed and suddenly it occurred to me that I had not written back a "thanks but no" to the gentleman in question. His first big bold dick correspondence had been macho and confident, but on reflection, his follow up email with the requested photos had been humble and almost shy. I realised that I had accepted him on the basis of his dick (almost another one Finbar) and rejected him on the rest of his body! And how often does that happen???

I felt like crap. I had to explain. I launched adultfriendfinder and went to the sign in page. But what the fuck was my user name? Blonde something or other. English blonde something or other??? Ah, fuck it, I had no idea whatsoever. I tried to retrieve my name using my password, I was feeling badly at this point, but couldn't remember that either. I gave up.

And so, if you are reading this dear man with the big thick dick, perfect body and kind eyes, I apologise. It really was me, not you.



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