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The Contrarion: Games Critics Awards are a Pointless Waste of Time

Posted by Cole Stryker

Each year, journalists form 36 media outlets aggregate their views on E3's best games -- "games that will shape the future of interactive entertainment".

What a stupid, worthless accolade. The journalists are basically judging on trailers and brief "hands-on" time. Why would any self-respecting journalist bother participating in such a masturbatory contest? Cripe, Kotaku managed to squeeze five posts out of it. Spore has secured a place for the last three years. Past winners include classics like Def Jam: Fight for New York, Majestic, Oni, Um Jammer Lammy, and Sentinel Returns. Real paradigm shifters, those. Shaping the future of interactive entertainment.

The full breakdown....AFTER THE JUMP!!!1

Best of Show
Fallout 3

Best Original Game
Mirror's Edge

Best Console Game
LittleBigPlanet

Best PC Game
Spore

Best Handheld Game
Resistance: Retribution

Best Hardware/Peripheral
Rock Band 2 Ion “Drum Rocker” Set

Best Action Game
Gears of War 2

Best Action/Adventure Game
Dead Space

Best Role Playing Game
Fallout 3

Best Racing Game
Pure

Best Sports Game
Madden NFL 09

Best Fighting Game
Street Fighter IV

Best Strategy Game
Tom Clancy’s EndWar

Best Social/Casual/Puzzle
LittleBigPlanet

Best Online Multiplayer
Left 4 Dead

I promise this is my last E3-related rant.

Related Links:

Yahtzee On E3: Are We Gaming in an Age of Uncreativity?
E3 Opinion: Because It's Cool To Complain...
Do We Need E3?


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Comments

Angelfish_Titan said:

C'mon, give em a break. They need some reason to justify wasting precious time going to that horrible piece of crap that could have better been spent playing games that are actually out!

August 6, 2008 12:23 PM

Derrick Sanskrit said:

HEY! I liked Oni.

Then again, I may have just been happy I could play a real 3D action game on my family's old Mac (system 9).

August 6, 2008 12:37 PM

Roto13 said:

"Best of Show

Fallout 3"

Seriously?

August 7, 2008 1:43 PM

NadaGeek said:

Did you ever play Oni?  that was one of the coolest little one-offs ..  

August 11, 2008 6:07 PM

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

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Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

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