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JRPG Stories: Awful

Posted by Cole Stryker

I have to watch my step around these parts, as I am surrounded by JRPG devotees. That won't stop me from making fun of them occasionally, or praising my fellow journalists when they do so. Paul Ryan at Games Radar has crafted a list of JRPG tropes out of which even superfans should get a chuckle.

Starting with the beginning, you've overslept and upon waking an old lady needs your help. While helping her you meet your best friend and someone gives you a weapon.You listen to the villages rumors about an encroaching evil, so you explore the surrounding area, only to uncover a government conspiracy/religious cult. Your village gets burned down, so you and your friends go on an epic adventure that ends with you discovering an ancient evil that can only be defeated with the power of an ancient race. There's a lot more, but I won't ruin the rest. It's worth reading in its entirety, so go do that. 

This list reminds me of something I read years ago called "The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Cliches". With nearly 200 items, it remains the definitive statement on the unoriginality of Japanese RPG writers. Come to think of it, reading this list almost makes the Games Radar list look like a complete ripoff. My favorite:

Wait! That Was A Load-Bearing Boss!
Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes.

 

Related Links: 

Roundtable Discussion: The Relevance of Japanese RPGs

Your JRPG Narrative is Bad and You Should Feel Bad

Whatcha Listening To?: Ebben Flow Soundtrack


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Nadia said:

Observation Time: your post is illustrated with a Dragon Quest box, but Dragon Quest is one JRPG series that puts gameplay far, far above story.

Particularly Dragon Quest III, which is about 3% story and 97% gameplay. When I think of bad JRPG stories, I think of slogging cut scenes and characters who take themselves very, very seriously.

March 5, 2009 11:22 AM

Odin said:

Nadia's right: DQIII is much more about gameplay than story.

"The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Cliches" is indeed a classic.

March 6, 2009 12:54 AM

Cole Stryker said:

So I didn't feel like uploading an original photo, and that one happened to already be online. Sue me!

March 8, 2009 7:42 PM

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

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Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

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Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

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