I've been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: City Folk lately. Now, this doesn't mean I'm not angry with Nintendo for essentially dumping Wild World on the Wii with the halfhearted effort of a child making sand-pail towers at the beach. I, uh, just wanted to do the honest thing and pay off my mortgage.
But good intentions pave the road to Hell, and my return to the 'hood wasn't peaceful for long. I'm embroiled in a turf war with my husband, who controls the north side of Onett. I pimp my fruit trees in the south side, near the shore. Tilling foreign fruits will literally grow an orchard of money trees.
My husband doesn't see it that way, and he's already warned me that those damn trees had better not start creeping northward. He pretends he doesn't want my precious money trees, but I know otherwise. Now I'm vigilant whenever I hear him play the game.
“Are any of my trees in bloom?” I call from the other room.
He says, “Yeah, some oranges.”
“Don't you touch them.”
“I'm not going to touch your goddamn fruit.”
“You'd better not. I have connections. Nook hires out more than contracting.”
I expect my connections with Nook will dissolve soon. Probably violently. I took out ad space on the town's bulletin board to announce that he'll lick peanut butter off any body part it's applied to.
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