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Shonen Love-Ins: Can We Find a New Plot Device Already?

I recently watched my husband finish Mega Man Star Force for the Nintendo DS because I can't be bothered with it; the series is just to far removed for me to associate it with the franchise.

See, Mega Man is a little robot warrior boy, but I am okay with his spinoffs. I'm okay with him being a brooding refugee from Blade Runner. I'm okay with him being the crazed overlord of a dystopian society. I'm more than okay with him being a miner with a sinister past. I'm even okay with him being a dead baby. But Mega Man as a generic energy-form alien gives me a major case of the blahs.

Anyway. Watcing husband finish Star Force.

I don't know if there's some kind of virus going around Japan that dulls the senses of game developers, manga-ka and anime producers, but I wish someone would take some Dayquil and realise that shonen love-ins, also known as anime love-ins, lost their impact many, many years ago. In fact, when I am Queen of the World, any storyteller from any nation who dares to pen the line "Lend me your power!!" as part of a tale's climax will be drawn and quartered with their own ballpoint.

Emergency Rescue!! Super Joe!!

If you're ever looking for a very poor lunch idea, might I suggest two Red Bulls and a package of dehydrated mango slices?

One thing Americans need to be less shy about is singing along to superhero ballads. The Japanese, on the other hand, are really fantastic about belting out anthems for their heroes. Bear witness to any opening for any shonen anime or programme. Very few clock in at less than a minute and most of them go on for a minute and a half. All of them are enthusiastic: the singer is always a super-energetic Japanese guy who bellows as if this rubber monster-throttling knight sprang from his own loins.

It pleases me to say that Capcom has captured the spirit of Bionic Commando perfectly with its sentai-flavoured trailer for Bionic Commando Rearmed. Are you ready to blow up Hitler's head, kids? Please pray for the success of Radd Spencer for best luck!

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.

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