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  • Dr. Spock vs. The Watchmen vs. Terminator: The New Movie Tie-In



    Nostalgia, as Cole’s post on the ever-ubiquitous Final Fantasy VII so deftly illustrated, is a disease afflicting games criticism. It’s understandable why. The people writing about games today (not to mention the majority of people making them) came of age during videogames’ golden age. It’s no wonder fond memories color their perception of the entire medium. Nostalgia isn’t always a bad thing, especially when it inspires creativity. Just look at Bionic Commando Rearmed. But as Luc Sante says, “Nostalgia can be defined as a state of inarticulate contempt for the present and fear of the future.”

    Me, I love the future. I’m a ceaseless optimist, fueled by the promise of tomorrow, I am. When I feel the symptoms of nostalgia (itchiness, aquaphobia, uncontrollably defending Battletoads, frothing at the mouth) taking over my brain, I remember movie tie-ins. I think about going to Pompey Video and plunking down four dollars to subject myself to The Rocketeer on NES. I think about buying Die Hard Trilogy as one of my first Playstation games. Then I vomit and, like an exhausted drunk, I feel a little bit better.

    The movie tie-in is changing though. While you still see trash like Secret Level’s Iron Man game making millions, the big budget retail rush job isn’t the guaranteed success it used to be. Iron Man may have been a hit for Sega and Secret Level (providing the cash flow to finish the giant flop Golden Axe: Beast Rider), but The Incredible Hulk tie-in, released by Sega just a few months later, sold about as well as cans of Coke II. It isn’t just brand strength and high cost that makes tie-ins a greater risk.

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  • Star Wars: Battlefront III Refuses to Die, Heads Home



    Come on, everyone. No complaining. We’re going down the rumor road. I don’t like it, you don’t like it, but by gum, it’s going to happen. Reading up on rumors, hearsay, and general tittering about the net is like going to the dentist. You have to do it regularly, whether you like it or not, and you will most likely end up bleeding out the mouth afterward.

    So what’s the latest hubbub, bubs? Star Wars: Battlefront III, the last project running at Free Radical before the studio collapsed and had to start sleeping on Crytek’s couch, has found itself a new home.

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  • At Least Batman: Arkham Asylum's Story Will Be Good



    It’s been pretty disheartening to see so many people losing their game industry jobs these past few months. First and foremost, it’s terrible to see thousands of talented people out of work. It’s also tragic to see so many games get cancelled. I’m still upset that Free Radical’s Star Wars Battlefront 3 will never come out. That game looked unbelievable. That’s not always the case with cancelled games though. For example, I think the world’s a better place now that Pandemic’s The Dark Knight tie-in won’t clog up shelves across the land. From the sounds of it, that game was troubled with a capital OUBLED. It’s cancellation also means that Rocksteady Games’ original Batman game, Arkham Asylum, will have a much better chance of getting noticed by the millions upon millions of people obsessed with Bruce Wayne and Joker.

    This new trailer doesn’t have any play in it, so it’s pretty useless for giving an impression of Arkham Asylum as a game. What it does have is plenty of story. Competently written and awesomely voiced story.

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  • A Silver Lining to The Dark Knight

    While Batman may have grappled his way back into the hearts of movie-goers with 2005's Batman Begins and last year's The Dark Knight, he hasn't really had a notable video game in quite some time--and no, Lego Batman doesn't really count. At some point in time, a Dark Knight game was actually in the works, but after becoming a complete development disaster, what should have been a sure thing was taken behind the barn and shot in the back of the head. Like any Batman fan, I was a bit disappointed by the death of The Dark Knight; after all, I grew up in a time when good Batman games actually existed. Sure, there've been quite a few stinkers with the Batman name attached, but when developers like Sunsoft and Konami had the license, they made games worth playing--especially The Adventures of Batman and Robin for the SNES, which was a damn-near perfect interpretation of the mid-90s cartoon.

    It seems that YouTube user elmacbee shares the same sentiment towards the Batman games of old; he's produced a pretty convincing mockup video of what could be an NES version of The Dark Knight if we somehow existed in a universe where technology is about two decades behind. I'd love to see this fictional game in action, but for now, the introductory video has me salivating for what could have been.

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  • Games to Movies: Why Is It So Gad-Danged Hard?

    Pardon me, but might I bother you to turn your head while I spew vulgarities? The live-action Castlevania movie by Paul W.S. Anderson is going to be as stinking and putrid as a zombie's testicles. Yeah, as rotten as zombie testicles stewing like dumplings in a pool of sweat collected in the crotch of a pair of leather pants. And...the testicles are dangling. By, like, one scrap of skin.

    One scrap of maggot-chewed skin.

    We're used to this, right? It's the curse of video game-based movies to be absolutely no good. A friend of mine who's a huge Silent Hill fan convinced a non-gaming friend of mine to see the Silent Hill movie. Second friend saw the movie and still insists that first friend owes her eight bucks for making her see the stupidest film in the world.

    But it's not as if the Silent Hill series is incapable of keeping even hardcore horror fans up all night. Why do games translate so badly into movies? Is it because directors (we're not even counting Uwe Boll) have no qualms about taking creative liberties with the source material--the lack of a whip for Simon Belmont's film being a perfect example?

    That certainly can't be helping the problem. On the other hand, there are game-to-movie adaptations, mostly of Japanese origin, that are as easily recognisable as their inspirations...but they still suck.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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